Every Description of Chris Brown Used in the Trailer For His 'Documentary,' Welcome to My Life

The trailer for an upcoming propaganda film about how misunderstood Chris Brown is entitled Welcome to My Life has been released, and it’s two and a half minutes of carefully edited footage that will probably do wonders convincing you not to see Welcome to My Life.

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After chronicling his rise via several interviews with celebrities (convicted rapist Mike Tyson is shown saying, “The more liked we get, the more we have to hide our demons”), family members, and Brown himself, we see footage from news reports of the infamous 2009 fight during which Rihanna, Brown’s girlfriend at the time, was beaten.

Brown then addresses the audience.

“If there was ever a doubt in your mind that Chris Brown was done, that he was finished...I wouldn’t bet on it.”

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After a brief montage of Brown’s live performances set to the kind of operatic vocals more commonly heard in trailers for big-budget action movies, it cuts to black, and we close the tab forever.

Below is a complete list of descriptions for the singer found in the trailer:

  • One of the biggest stars in the world
  • A legend, almost
  • Young
  • Truly gifted
  • Talented in a way we haven’t seen in a long time
  • The next superstar ª
  • He has his finger on the pulse of the sound
  • On top of the world
  • America’s sweetheart
  • Public enemy #1*
  • Grammy Award Nominee
  • A fucking monster*

* denotes descriptions spoken by Chris Brown / ª denotes aspirational descriptions

As a bonus, these are four descriptions of Rihanna and Chris Brown, when they were still a couple:

  • Magical
  • Inseparable
  • Like real-life rockstars
  • A fairytale

Staff Writer, Jezebel | Man

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DISCUSSION

Chris Brown can kiss my ass with this film. Him and his awful mama. She’s the worst next to him.

Unless this film shows him taking full responsibility for his actions seven years ago and subsequently, he can fuck right off.

Public Enemy #1. Let’s get one thing straight, you got that title all by yourself. No one gave it to you. Certainly not because of that incident. You were and still are, a fucking menace to society. Constantly verbally attacking any female you think you can get away with doing it to. Menaced poor Karruche for almost a year.

Chris Brown is a weak, entitled little bitch, who needs his ass kicked on a daily. FOH with your shitty documentary, where all these idiot celebs miss the point and just stand there cheering for who you were and could have been, instead of dealing with the reality of who your punk ass actually is.

None of this delusional bullshit about him losing a damn thing. Cause he didn’t. A month after Pitbull had him on a hit track. Two months later someone else did too. His career didn’t stop. He likes to talk about how he could have been more, but that’s conjecture.

Based on his unrepentant attitude and shitty behavior, this Chris Brown was inevitable. Assault on Rihanna or no.

Also, you’re not Michael Jackson. You’re another Struggle Jackson just like The Weeknd, just he’s not a violent shithead.