This just in from the world's hottest up-and-coming superpower: condom fashion shows. The condom industry is promoting itself big-time in China because, duh, birth control is sorta huge there. But it's having a hard (heh) time! Because the average Chinese person loses his or her virginity at 22.1 years old. Whoaaah, repressed much? Hahahahaha not funny. Seriously though, this is a country where contraceptives and abortions are paid for by the state, whores are cheap and readily available, EVERYBODY is sexy in that way that people in countries where, like, Doritos are a huge luxury are sexy, and there isn't exactly a bounty of lush green nature to explore or incisive, no-holds-barred magazines to read. There are pretty much no hobbies to which the place lends itself BUT fucking! So we're down to two theories: it's either the fact that religion is illegal — religions banning sex before marriage always seem to turn out the biggest sluts, not that we'd know — or World of Warcraft, right? Or wait.
It's cause they can't hold their liquor, isn't it. Yeah we'd have been virgins at 22 if it weren't for Jim Beam.
In fact, maybe we'd still be virgins?