Chelsea Clinton At Starbucks: We Have Soooooo Been There

Illustration for article titled Chelsea Clinton At Starbucks: We Have Soooooo Been There

December 4, New York. Image via Bauer-Griffin.

You've totally been to this Starbucks. Even though it's just one of, like, 3000 Starbucks locations in Manhattan, you've been there, because, seriously, you've been to every single one. And when you find a seat in the vicinity of an outlet, and you park yourself and shell out the $9.99 to use their fucking T-Mobile Hotspot (you'll totally expense it, you tell yourself every time, as if you have even gotten around to filing expenses since the last time you paid taxes) there is NO MOTHERFUCKING WAY YOU ARE MOVING MOTHERFUCKER. Oh, hi, uh, Chelsea. Yeah, no, you can use my outlet, I can stop charging my BlackBerry for a minute...sure. Um, could you watch my seat while I go get another gingerbread latte? Want one? There's totally a sugar-free version...

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@PaperBoy: I epecially like how judgey and rude people can be about the manners or supposed lack thereof of other people. If I feel the need to sit down due to fragility (if I'm really not feeling well), you can damn well be sure I will ask nicely if I may. I don't care how old or pregnant you are, if you just stand there all passive-aggressive, waiting for someone to hand over their seat, then carry on. I HATE the assumptions people make about women. I have lunch out at restaurants alone sometimes, and it's lovely, and I read a book and relax and escape from the madhouse that is work, but OMG do people look at me all pityingly as if the only possible reason I could be alone is my pathetic lack of friends. People should stop projecting their own insecurities and pet-peeves onto other people.