Celebrity Wedding Planners Lead Crazy Lives, Need Their Own Rom-Com Immediately

Illustration for article titled Celebrity Wedding Planners Lead Crazy Lives, Need Their Own Rom-Com Immediately

"It's like a military operation," says one celebrity wedding planners in a fascinating look into their top-secret machinations. Because if Chesea Clinton is, indeed, secretly getting married, apparently the whole thing's been carried off with painstaking precision.


Says the Washington Post,

If Chelsea Clinton is getting married on Martha's Vineyard in the next 10 days — and some chatty islanders plus the National Enquirer insist that she is — it should help to have a former commander in chief, a current secretary of state and a brigade of Secret Service agents acting as her co-conspirators. Though they've never confirmed an engagement, rumor has it that Bill and Hillary Clinton's 29-year-old daughter will wed longtime boyfriend Marc Mezvinsky at the estate of Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen, or some other family friend's estate, either this weekend or next. Or not.


The antics necessary to keep such an arrangement shrouded in the requisite secrecy - think a lot of document-shredding, aliases, and security companies. As the piece says, "Paper invitations are the ultimate liability." Your only chance is the top-secret getaway, the "decoy" trip, the "haha it's not a barbecue it's actually a wedding!" Because if these wedding planners are pros, the paparazzi are more than their match. "They'll go to bizarre, great lengths," says planner Mindy Weiss.

Upon reading this, I immediately thought: Hello Rom-Com! It's like The Wedding Planner meets Notting Hill meets some combination of 27 Dresses and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Picture it: a control-freak wedding planner famed for her discretion ("they tell me you're the best," people will tell her repeatedly) is planning the nuptials of Brangelina-level celebrities. Meanwhile, charming reprobate paparrazo has to get the shots or get fired/not get a promotion. Obviously, he must infiltrate. But she's wise to him, and a series of tricks and false leads and red herrings ensues as they match wits and the sexual tension grows. Can they trust each other?
Can she relinquish control? Can he trust his emotions? Obviously the celeb couple engages in many comic-relief shenanigans, too. There may be a gay colleague thrown in, because. Haven't yet decided whether she has a stuffed-shirt boss or if she's too uptight and asexual to attract anyone until paparazzo loosens her up. The only thing I haven't figured out it...will true love prevail?

Keep Celeb Vows Veiled In Secrecy? It's No Snap [Washington Post]

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Sadie, for your sake, I demand you write this script tonight (after a lifetime of watching these movies, it probably won't take more than a day or two), sell it for a cool $1.2 mill, and finally have something good to show for the hours and hours you (and I) have spent consuming rom com propaganda.