Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Celebrity Baby Names: Creativity Or A Curse?

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Welcome to the world, Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Your parents and grandparents and Auntie Jessica are undoubtedly thrilled at your arrival, as they should be. The rest of the universe, however, isn't reacting to your birth announcement with the same type of glee. We may never know you, Bronx Mowgli Wentz, though we'll undoubtedly see your pictures in random paparazzi shots over the next few years: Bronx walks! Bronx eats! Bronx to Suri: You Know What You Did taking up the covers of various tabloids. But your parents, in choosing your moniker, have ensured that the first reaction the public has had to your presence on this earth hasn't been an "aww" or a "congrats" or even a "how sweet!" It has, instead, been a resounding "WTF is up with that name?"It's not a secret that celebrities seem to prefer wacky names for their kids. The last 10 years alone have provided us with a Banjo, an Audio Science, a Pilot Inspektor, a MoxieCrimefighter, a Zuma, and an Apple. Bronx Mowgli is simply taking his place amongst the "creatively" named children of the stars. The parents of the Wacky Name Brigade Crew are all artists: actors, musicians, people who dedicate their life (whether you deem them successful or not really isn't the point here) to creating something; hence, it makes sense that they'd approach the baby-naming business with the kind of "I'm going to do my own thing" mentality that has shaped their careers. The flip side of the successful artist, however, is the narcissism aspect: the choices some of these celebrities make seem to reflect an obliviousness towards the inevitable teasing their children will take while growing up with such names. Tallulah Willis, unhappy with her unique name, reportedly has plans to legally change it to Lula. Her father, Bruce Willis, told the San Francisco Chronicle that he both understood and supported Lula's decision, noting that he wasn't a fan of his name, either, "especially after my father told me that he named me after Bruce Wayne, playboy millionaire.” To try to find out if celebrity kids can outrun their ridiculous names, MSNBC turns to Peaches Geldof, the celebutante who, in 2006, claimed, "I hate ridiculous names, My weird name has haunted me all my life." Apparently, Peaches has made peace with her wacky moniker over the past few years, recently telling a reporter “It haunted me in my youth, but now I like it. I always got teased about it at primary school, being named after a fruit. Now people find it appealing. I like my name. I think it’s sexy and unusual.” Soleil Moon Frye, TV's Punky Brewster, grew up loving her name. “I really liked having an odd name, and I loved that there was a story behind it,” Frye says, noting that her siblings also had unique names, a tradition she carried on by naming her two daughters Poet Sienna and Jagger Joseph. From an outsider's perspective, names like Apple Martin and Bronx Mowgli Wentz are sure to elicit a general "Are you kidding me? That poor kid!" response. But even though these kids are famous and their parents are famous as well, does that mean we have the right to criticize their names? Every parent, regardless of their public status, makes a personal choice when it comes to naming their kid. I'm sure all of us have at least one friend or acquaintance who chose a name for their child that made us crinkle our noses, though we'd never say it out loud. So what's the point of a weird name? I guess the publicity doesn't hurt; but mostly I think it's just another way for celebrities to try to put their own weird mark on the world, to be remembered for something, if nothing else, than parents who took a strange path when it came to choosing names for their children. Do I think Bronx Mowgli Wentz is a stupid name? Yes. Do I think he'll be teased for it? Yes. Do I think he may hate it by the time he's a teenager? Yes. But I'm not his mother or his father, so it's really none of my business. The naming bit is over: we'll hear about it for a while, jokes and debates such as this sucking up another publicity cycle. The true test of Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson's decision-making skills, in terms of parenting, won't be apparent for many years: it's not the name of the kid that really counts, it's the person he becomes, the person they encourage him to be, regardless of the wackiness on his birth certificate. Bronx Mowgli? Can Celeb Tots Survive Their Names? [MSNBC] Aunt Jessica Simpson 'Over The Moon' [People]