Carl's Jr. Is Now Putting on Pornographic Radio Plays
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Sweet heavens no! The poor people of New Zealand have been denied a Carl’s Jr. commercial featuring two 19-year-old girls in jorts “sexily” fighting over a sandwich thanks to the country’s ban on using “sex appeal in an exploitative and degrading manner and the use of sex to sell an unrelated product.” But how will the Kiwis know that eating a Memphis BBQ sandwich can be tasty and mildly pornographic? How will the Kiwis know anything at all?
Calm down. Everyone CALM DOWN. Carl’s Jr. already has it all figured out for us. They’re gonna put on a play, but not just any play — they’re going to put on a radio play where a narrator, preferably one with an old-timey radio voice, simply describes two 19-year-old girls in jorts getting heated and slathered in barbecue sauce.