I Fulfilled a Lifelong Dream and Butchered a Pig
I blame my interest in raw meat on my mother. Under the guise of protecting us, she wouldn’t let me or my sister touch…
Project Runway's Brandon Kee Helped Me Design Some Blogger Couture
Ever since Tim Gunn uttered his first “Hmm” on Project Runway, I’ve dreamed of being a contestant on the show. Not only…
I Tried Fire Dancing Even Though I'm Afraid of Both Fire and Dancing
Generally speaking, I find life adequately challenging without inventing ways to put my mettle to the test. Although I…
Getting in Touch With My Great Attitude Through American Ninja Warrior Training
If you have ever flipped on the tube after eating a ball of pot, settled on the most invigorating display of human…
How I Learned to Sword Fight Like Arya Stark
The one thing you need to know about sword fighting is how immensely satisfying it is to hit someone in the head with a…
In Another Lifetime, I Was a White Man: A Skeptic Meets Her Former Selves
It was a remarkably odd feeling to sit slumped over in an office arm chair, my coworkers watching me as I described my…
We Exercised with Nina Dobrev and the Experience Nearly Destroyed Us
We at Jezebel get invited to endless PR events, most of them not worth attending. We do make an exception, however,…
I Became a Mermaid to Prove I Know How to Swim
Like all ideas that sound good at the time but are actually quite scary, my journey to become a mermaid started with a…
I Auditioned for America's Got Talent to Find Out If I've Got Talent
A man has built himself a bubble bath out of balloons. He is asking two teenage girls—who have volunteered for this,…
How My Daily Commute as a 20-Something White Woman Taught Me About the National Political Situation
On Thursday, our friend and former colleague Jia Tolentino wrote, “The Personal-Essay Boom Is Over” for the New Yorker.…
I Took a Nap in a $65,000 Bed of Lights to Get Skin Like Kate Beckinsale
Over the past few months, you may have seen commercials for a Phantom of the Opera-esque beauty treatment, a plastic…
A Few Things I Have Learned About Going Outside In North Dakota In Winter
On Sunday, I arrived in North Dakota and headed to Oceti Sakowin, one of the main camps where Native water protectors…
Eat, Pray, Tail: I Wore a Tail for 1 Week and Learned Nothing
I don’t remember exactly how I played myself into wearing a tail for a week—I just know that it wouldn’t have happened…
I Read Ivana Trump's 1992 Romance Novel So You Don't Have To
God help me, I actually enjoyed reading Ivana Trump’s dishy, ridiculous, semi-autobiographical 1992 novel, For Love…
Screaming on the Inside: My Adventures With Botox
About a year ago, I got botulinum toxin injected into my face for the first time. As a woman of the aughts, this seemed…
Tea Cozies, Tote Bags and Colin Firth: The Thriving Jane Austen Souvenir Economy
I’m not going to subject you to the umpteen millionth permutation of the opening line of Pride and Prejudice, so let’s…
I Survived Hot Yoga With Nick and Drew Lachey
I was folded forehead-down, sweating like a pig in a truly incompetent child’s pose, when onetime boy-band idols Nick…
I Went to See the New Nicholas Sparks Movie All By Myself
This past weekend, I went to see The Longest Ride, the latest Nicholas Sparks movie, all by myself.
Two Ambivalent Women Walk Into a Wedding Expo...and Everything Changes
"Oh fucking shit," Julianne says to me. We've been at this New York magazine-sponsored wedding expo for half an hour,…
'What Do You Mean, It Jammed': A Harrowing Journey to IUD City
On Monday evening at about 5:20 I was wearing a cream-colored sweater and nothing else, lying back on a medical table…