I Did It to Myself

As a teen, I yearned to be a mall rat; as a teen in Germany, that desire went mostly unfulfilled. There were no…

The Hills returned; Lindsay Lohan has, too. The dream of the ‘00s is back—mostly in revival or reboot form, with…

On an average day, I do not spend much time thinking about my underwear because if it’s good, it’s doing its job:…

On Sunday, I got stuck in a manhole cover. How mortifying. I’m just a typical German ratte, not looking to get…

Thirty-four minutes into what was meant to be a 30-minute journey, a clip of a denture-wearing Rami Malek as Freddie…

It was a little after 5 p.m. when we pulled into the covered parking lot of a Comfort Inn. I was there to meet…

I arrive at Six Flags Great Adventure, in Jackson, N.J., one extremely hot October day, already a scary human…

Ever since Tim Gunn uttered his first “Hmm” on Project Runway, I’ve dreamed of being a contestant on the show. Not…

Generally speaking, I find life adequately challenging without inventing ways to put my mettle to the test. Although…

The one thing you need to know about sword fighting is how immensely satisfying it is to hit someone in the head…

It was a remarkably odd feeling to sit slumped over in an office arm chair, my coworkers watching me as I described…

We at Jezebel get invited to endless PR events, most of them not worth attending. We do make an exception, however,…

A man has built himself a bubble bath out of balloons. He is asking two teenage girls—who have volunteered for this,…

On Thursday, our friend and former colleague Jia Tolentino wrote, “The Personal-Essay Boom Is Over” for the New…

Over the past few months, you may have seen commercials for a Phantom of the Opera-esque beauty treatment, a plastic…

On Sunday, I arrived in North Dakota and headed to Oceti Sakowin, one of the main camps where Native water…

God help me, I actually enjoyed reading Ivana Trump’s dishy, ridiculous, semi-autobiographical 1992 novel, For Love…

About a year ago, I got botulinum toxin injected into my face for the first time. As a woman of the aughts, this…

I’m not going to subject you to the umpteen millionth permutation of the opening line of Pride and Prejudice, so…

I was folded forehead-down, sweating like a pig in a truly incompetent child’s pose, when onetime boy-band idols…