The real national emergency is the fact that I drank nine cans of Diet Dr. Pepper today and still feel alive!

Happy Valentine’s Eve. Buy me some flowers.

Remember System of a Down? Also, what do you all think about renaming this Ennui Bag? Let’s discuss in the comments.

Read this blog while playing a bad Sublime song.

Who’s ready for the weekend?

The president is complaining about “presidential harassment.”

Can you believe the president has only tweeted once today?

Will you be reading our State of the Union liveblog at 9 p.m. eastern?

Who among us hasn’t held off resigning from our role as an elected official after the public discovered you did black…

Another day, another hopeful Democrat enters the 2020 race.

Hope everyone is staying warm and cozy.

I’m planning on binge watching the rest of You on Netflix for the duration of this arctic blast. What about you?

It’s Tuesday. Who’s crying?

Hello. Hi. I’ve been out of the country for 18 days. Did I miss anything?

I’m tired.

It’s Day 34 of the government shutdown. How are you doing?

The tiniest shred of good news feels like sunlight bursting through the sky after a thousand-day-long winter.

It’s the 46th anniversary of Roe v. Wade.

These are adults. Theoretically.

The government’s still shut down, and coincidentally my body feels like it’s shutting down!