You see this? This is my barf bag. It was my grandmother’s barf bag, and her grandmother’s before that. One day I shall…

• Don’t count on Maine Republican Sen. Susan Collins to save us from Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. Though…

We made it. Did we make it? Oh shit. I don’t think we did.

I wish the president would shut his pie hole. Every day!

Anyone else feel like today was a zillion hours long? Or is that just the news cycle?

Barf? In my bag? It’s more common than you think…

Please learn from my mistakes and stay off Twitter today and all days, my friends.

Sometimes I run. Sometimes I hide. Sometimes I’m scared of what fresh hell awaits us tomorrow.

Everyone in the path of Hurricane Florence, our thoughts are with you!

If you’re in the path of that bich Florence please STAY SAFE!

You guys I’m sorry I barfed in the bag. :[

Fall, the best season, is almost here.

I too hate it when my enemies are talking publicly about how to bring me down.

On planes...in the woods...in the White House...

It has been a WILD day in Washington, lemme tell ya...

Stepping in bear trap. Bad? Not anymore! For you see…

It’s the freakin’ weekend! And it’s a long one too, oh yeah!

Would U: Young Andrew Cuomo?

I, too, am mad that Google doesn’t promote my accomplishments more often.

Gotta barf? Here’s a bag. Barf Bag: It’s a bag for your barf!