Parents in Fremont, California want a textbook pulled from the ninth-grade health curriculum, because they're unhappy with its frank discussions of sex toys, sex games and sexual fantasies.

The L.A. Times reports that 1,500 people have signed an online petition demanding that Your Health Today be removed from the supplemental materials for health class. The petition says it "exposes youth to sexual games, sexual fantasies, sexual bondage with handcuffs, ropes, and blindfolds, sexual toys and vibrator devices, and additional instruction that is extremely inappropriate for 13 and 14 year-old youth."


This news report from KPIX provides more detail, but not too much detail, because of the FCC:

"I'd like to show you a few pages in here, but I can't, because some of the images are simply inappropriate for a TV show," says the correspondent. Apparently the book mentions sex toys and, uh oh y'all, ORGASMS. There's even a whole paragraph about bondage — you know, craaaazy shit like handcuffs. The kind of handcuffs you see on copies of Fifty Shades of Grey at grocery stores and Barnes and Nobles nationwide.


Obviously, sex ed for ninth graders requires a fairly light touch. But parents can always opt their kids out of the class. (If you want your kids learning from YouPorn instead of a textbook, that is.) Superintendent Jim Morris also stressed that, "the book does not constitute the health curriculum — it is a tool to assist the instructor in teaching the standards."

Besides: Do parents just not realize what their kids can Google? If they've got a smartphone they can find their way to full-on gang-bang porn within about 15 minutes. If you think your 14-year-old has not already been "exposed" to stuff that'd turn your hair grey, you are living in la-la land. Hell, if you don't want your kids hearing about bondage right now you'd have to move to an Amish community and even then I'm not betting big money they don't get creative with ropes in the winter.

Trying to get this textbook pulled is just shutting the barn door after the horse has already gotten out and telling all the guys who work in the stables to go home for the afternoon, too, because all the horses are definitely still in the barn and there's nothing to see here. Nope. Definitely no horses just cantering around the yard.