Busy Bachelor Seeks Part-Time Wife

Sometimes a crap Craigslist ad drips with douchery aforethought — and sometimes the dude responsible just seems authentically, painfully clueless. The following missive from a currently wife-less “professional” falls into the latter camp.

Here’s the ad:

Young professional (25) that makes six figures doesn’t yet have wife to perform household tasks. Some mild housecleaning and a few loads of laundry every two weeks would make all the difference for one of DC’s busiest bachelors.

Essentially, I’m seeking a trustworthy individual to perform these tasks for three to four hours every two weeks at an hourly rate of $20 per hour. This is perfect part-time work for college student or young professional looking to make a few extra dollars. My house is walking distance to the Friendship Heights Metro and close to American University.

Please email me a description of yourself and your interest in the position. If you sound cool, we can meet at a coffee shop to discuss.

Our tipster evinced surprise that this busy bachelor found himself still in want of a wife. We concur! His requirements are so modest — a few loads of laundry every other week — that we can’t imagine why no one has stepped up to perform these wifely duties for free. But his loss is some DC-area college student’s gain — as long as said student “sounds cool” over coffee, that is. Might this bachelor’s ad for part-time work be a veiled wife audition, after all? If so, we extend our greatest sympathy to the lady who launders her way into this catch’s heart.

Part-Time Work For College Student – Housecleaning & Laundry (Friendship Heights) [Craigslist]