Brits Say Getting Married Early Saves You From A Depressing Life Of Singlehood

Andrew G. Marshall wrote a piece for Saturday's Times of London arguing that if you're gonna get married, doing it early — in your twenties — is best. On the same day, Stefanie Marsh penned a story about how being single sucks. The pressure! From all sides! Marshall says there's more hope for a couple in crisis if they got hitched in their twenties than if they tied the knot in their thirties. And he should know: He's a marital therapist.Marshall writes: "If you marry later, you are more likely to bring old baggage into your relationship." He also believes that people who get married later have higher expectations and that if you get married in your late thirties, there's "the need to start a family almost immediately." Pair this with Ms. Marsh writing

"There's a myth being perpetuated that being single is great! The loneliness, the effort, that musty smell in your flat because you spend far too much time in it, the fact that children think you're weird – that's all in your mind. A fabrication. You're not bored, you just think you're bored because being single is fabulous!"


and you've got a terrible recipe, part of the ubiquitous propaganda designed to make us believe that GETTING MARRIED WILL SAVE OUR LIVES. Never has there been a more insidious campaign against women. How long has this idea been pushed? The one that insists you're sad and desperate if you're single, so you'd better find yourself a man right away? And how come 36% of marriages in America among 20-24 year old women end in divorce? I refuse, refuse to believe that for every woman, the person you fall in love with in your early twenties is the one you should spend your life with. Refuse! There are some rare, special people for whom this may be true but it makes no sense as a fast rule. In your twenties, you're still growing, learning, discovering your identity. Plus, I think that being single and living alone is one of the most amazing things a woman can do for herself. The sense of ownership and control you have over your own home — your own space, where you make executive decisions and are the CEO, creative director and janitor — can be a valuable part of learning who you truly are and what you truly want. As Abby O'Reilly wrote on The F Word in response to Ms. Marsh's piece, "The vast majority of my female friends are single, and they lead active, full, interesting and sexually fulfilling lives… They do not sit in musty flats in dirty underwear waiting for some handsome night to turn up and whisk them away to a world of perfectly mowed lawns, home baking and picket fences." How come it is so hard to let go of the idea that a woman is at her best when she's with a man? Why It's Best To Marry In Your Twenties, Why It's Rubbish Being Single [Times] Slating the singles. Again… [The F Word]

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