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Britney Spears Wants a Hot Nerd with a Honkin' Dong

Illustration for article titled Britney Spears Wants a Hot Nerd with a Honkin Dong

Britney Spears is a woman of few desires—a stage to sing on, a safe place to raise her children, and a hot dink with a giant weenie...

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Performing at her Vegas residency this weekend, Brit told the crowd that it was time to find “a hot nerd.”

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What she says next on the recording is inaudible, but her subsequent request for a “big penis?” can be heard clear as a bell.

Don’t know what he’s packing, but maybe her Crossroads lab partner is willing to give her another shot...


Chavril—the holy union that is Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne—might not be broken after all. Gossip Cop reports that “the couple reunited last week,” something they discovered “when chasing down an inaccurate report in OK! that alleged Lavigne is dating Ryan Cabrera. At the time, an insider assured us they were not a couple, and instead Lavigne and Kroeger had reconciled.”

GOD IS GOOD


This video posted by the Rock is weird, but I respect it.

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  • Brandi Glanville, ex of Eddie Cibrian, had LeAnn Rimes’ ex Dean Sheremet on her podcast to talk about their former spouses cheating on them with each other. Complicated! [US Weekly]
  • It’s unlikely that Kanye West is $35 million in debt. [Page Six]
  • Star Wars John Boyega says he’s not ruling out a Finn/Poe romance. [Metro]
  • A statue of Ed Sheeran as a pig seems...rude. [NYDN]
  • People keep loitering outside of Taylor Swift’s house. [E! News]

Contact the author at madeleine@jezebel.com.

Image via Getty.

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DISCUSSION

elephantshoe
ElephantShoe

Honestly Britbrit I like where your head’s at you just have to be careful. I’ve met a lot of hot nerds who came into their looks post-high school and it’s made them into MONSTERS. And you’re like, how could you cheat on me while borrowing my car and they’re like ooooo I was never hot in high school and they almost cry and you feel bad but then when they think you are not looking check their cell phone and then you scream at them I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL and people tell you to calm down but none of this is your fault. So maybe go for a normal looking nerd, idk, this is all just hypothetical.