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Britney Spears: Still Making Great Decisions!

Illustration for article titled Britney Spears: Still Making Great Decisions!
  • Britney Spears is "doing all of her own business now" that she has cut ties with her manager, her mom, and her publicist. Good luck, honey! [PageSix]
  • When it comes to Ashlee Simpson, Pete Wentz won't buy the cow when he's getting the calming milk for free. [PageSix]
  • Although some other site we've never heard of says Ashlee is preggers and Pete popped the question! [PopCrunch]
  • Oooh! Not so blind item! Someone was looking for Ecstasy and her name may or may not rhyme with Mindsay Mohan. [PageSix]
  • Zac Efron once dyed his hair sliver. News you can use! [Rush&Molloy, 2nd item]
  • Jessica Simpson spent her 27th birthday with her dog and her assistant, poor thing. [Rush&Molloy, 3rd item]
  • Usher's biggest fan hates his fiancée. (Maybe because the knocked-up lady in question is 36 and the singer is 28?) [Gatecrasher, 1st item]
  • Matt Damon: Thinks Hillary is smart, will probably vote for Obama, wishes he could vote for Gore. [Gatecrasher, 3rd item]
  • Oooh, another blind item! No idea who it is, though, maybe you can help? "That very not-single songbird and that very famous basketball playa? I'm hearing the rumors are true." Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? [Gatecrasher, last item]
  • Dave Chappelle made a brief stop in the emergency room for exhaustion and dehydration. [E!]
  • The Beckhams went to T.G.I. Friday's. [JustJared]
  • Scary Spice claims her new man's cock is bigger than Eddie Murphy's. [TheSun]
  • "Dranklets" - aka alcohol-monitoring bracelets - so hot right now! [WaPo]

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The problem is I want it to be Garner.

The "Alias" jokes alone would be worth it.