British Writer Knows Why You're Still Single

Illustration for article titled British Writer Knows Why You're Still Single

Someone named Camilla Long, who used to work for British society magazine Tatler and now writes for the Times of London, has written a piece called "50 Reasons Why You're Still Single." [Update: The list appears to have been yoinked from a joke list done by Radar. For shame!] The list contains twenty-five dealbreakers for men and twenty-five for women, and 96% of them are ridiculous. Sure, there are single men who have "taken more than one mobile-phone photograph of [their] genitals" and "believe all worthwhile women are under 25." But there are plenty of single women who do not have a "lucky thong," a" calendar with pictures of babies in plant pots" or "five o'clock shadow" — including yours truly. Perhaps the list was meant to be humorous, but it reinforces a shitty and dangerous train of thought: If you're single, there must be something wrong with you.


While almost every single item on the men's list (with the possible exception of "wear a duffel coat in the winter, but are not Paddington Bear" — duffel coats can look great on the right guy!) is a tip-off that the guy is a dud; two items on the women's list don't seem so bad. Number 20 is about relinquishing control. The line between "control freak" and "achievement-driven, goal-oriented lady to be reckoned with" is pretty thin, no? As for number 24, saying "Oh my God, you're a Gemini" seems a petty offense most guys wouldn't balk at. (But maybe I feel that way that's because I've said it. Shit, is that why I'm single?) In any case, aren't there plenty of married men and women who could check things off on this list? And which offenses is Jennifer Aniston (whose photo accompanies the story) guilty of?

50 Reasons Why You're Still Single [Times]



Yeah, this is just obviously meant as a joke and I think taking offense to it is taking ourselves a little too seriously.

Oh! And seriously. If you ever have a revelatory moment that involves someone's zodiological sign: just kill yourself. I'm sorry, HUGE pet peeve of mine is when people try to excuse their flaws by saying "Well, you know me: such a Libra!" or "That's just my Leo coming out!" My mother in law does this ALL the friggen time and it drives me NUTS and there's NO telling her that the zodiac is bullshit.