British People Are Consistently Dour, Survey Suggests

Since this item comes to us trippingly off of the tongue of the Daily Mail, feel free to take it with as many grains of salt as you think is wise given your hypertension, but a new survey of 20,000 cloudy-browed Britons and sunny-side-up Americans has found that Americans are really friendly and optimistic, while Britons are generally more reserved and far better at suppressing their emotions. In other words, if Americans fall somewhere on the spectrum between Pooh and Tigger, British people are somewhere on the spectrum between Eeyore and Rabbit.

While it isn’t surprising to learn that all of our cultural stereotypes have been unquestionably validated by an informal survey, it’s still satisfying to learn that, really and truly, every American has a halo of chirping blue birds merrily zooming around his or her head, while every Briton is followed around by a swollen rain cloud. Moreover, Americans are more likely (four times more likely!) to be called “true romantics,” even though Love Actually featured a robust cast of gleeful British people, and Shakespeare, the most Britishy of all British playwrights, basically wrote every romantic comedy ever.