Bristol Palin Turns Abstinence-Only Education Into Cold Hard Cash; Mia Farrow's Daughter Dies

Illustration for article titled Bristol Palin Turns Abstinence-Only Education Into Cold Hard Cash; Mia Farrow's Daughter Dies
  • 18-year-old Bristol Palin and her baby daddy, Levi Johnston, have sold pictures of their newborn baby boy Tripp to People for an estimated $300,000. That's a lot of moose burgers! [MSNBC]
  • Of course, this is not as much as a Jolie-Pitt tot, but probably way more than than the average baby born to teen parents, and an Oxy-head grandma, in a small town in the great state of Alaska could ever earn. [MSNBC]
  • Woody Harrelson wed his longtime girlfriend Laura Louie — mother to his three daughters — on Sunday, after two decades together, finally making it legal. He was too busy up until now trying to do the same for pot. [People]
  • A Roc-A-Fella records documentary about the demise of former friends Jay-Z and Damon Dash's business partnership is in the works by former BET producer and Roc employee Choke No Joke. Apparently a lot of it had to do with Dash's signing of Ol' Dirty Bastard and his proposal of Cam'ron as a vice president of the label. According to Joke, "Jay wasn't feeling none of that [bleep]." [Page Six]
  • Mia Farrow's first daughter, Lark Previn, whom she adopted from Vietnam with her then-husband, musician Andre Previn, died on Christmas Day. Lark was only 35, and although the cause of her illness was not released, she's said to have been sick for a decade. She had two daughters, who are 12 and 13. [NY Daily News]
  • Eliza Dushku and Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane were an item but she dumped him for, get this, Brent Bolthouse, Heidi Montag's fake boss on The Hills. [Page Six]
  • Michael Lohan has called a temporary truce between himself and his daughter's girlfriend Samantha Ronson, posting this on his blog, asking people not to post comments about it on other blogs: "I respectfully ask that all sources, so called friends and mouthpieces refrain from any more comments or suggestions on her blog." [Perez HIlton]
  • Tom Brady may sit the 2009 season out, which means he'll get to spend more time with fiancé Giselle. [TMZ]
  • Is singer Jason Mraz totally high in this interview? And if so, on what? [ONTD]
  • Eurythmics star Dave Stewart has designed £1,000 vibrator "made of solid steel with a satin finish and a band of 28 diamonds—but bizarrely has a guitar pick attached and the lyrics from Stewart’s latest solo song, 'Let’s Do It Again,' scrawled on it." He obviously doesn't think the recession will affect the price of orgasms for his two or three fans who would even consider buying this. [The Sun]
  • Brody Jenner's new show Bromance, about dudes who cry because they want to hang out with him, premiered last night. These are the first two guys to go home, which we're not sure makes them slightly better than the rest, or way lamer. [ONTD]
  • Apparently Mariah Carey annoyed the scientific community because she didn't understand math well enough to name her album E=MC², which came out in April. The scientific community should be more annoyed that it took them over six months to realize that Mariah Carey wasn't a math whiz. [MSNBC]
  • Nick Cannon was seen out, sans Mimi, drinking a virgin daiquiri instead of booze. Maybe he's not allowed to drink because she's not allowed to drink because maybe she's pregs? [E!]
  • In more awesome pussy-drink news you can't use: Dane Cook and Wilmer Valderrama were drinking diet Gatorade together on Christmas Day. [E!]
  • LudaCrismas is a real thing that involves rapper Ludacris, and not just what the holiday office party is called on 30 Rock. [E!]
  • A sequel to American Pie that isn't straight to video and features the original cast? Yes, please! Anything for more Tara Reid and Natasha Lyonne red carpet moments! [Moviehole]
  • Madonna pisses another $2.6 million on "charity" aka Kabbalah. [Fox News]
  • USA Today has released it's 2008 Celebrity Heat Index. Britney Spears is number one and her sister Jamie Lynn joins her in the top 10. [USA Today]
  • Oh boy. Brit wants to go to Iraq to entertain the troops. Too bad this probably means she wants to sing and not talk about time travel. [Showbiz Spy]
  • Johnny Depp to guest star on Little Britain USA? Computer says yes. [The Sun]
  • Donald Trump is all pissed off that CNBC's Rebecca Jarvis' on-air promo bio for the network doesn't mention the fact that she was a fourth season contestant on The Apprentice. He actually wrote to her about it, he was worked up over it. [Page Six]
  • Barbra Streisand said that she loves couches now because she didn't have one growing up, since her family didn't have a living room, and there were like six people living in a two bedroom apartment. Somethings never change in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. [People]
  • Prince's sister Tyka Nelson has released a gospel album. The press release for it billed her as "only full-sister of 'Rock Legend' Prince." [Star Tribune]
  • “Look seans an old friend of mine and i didnt buy his performance at all—thought he did an average pretend acting like he was gay besides hes one of the most homophobic people i kno [sic]" - Wrestler star Mickey Rourke being a bitch about Oscar nominations and trashing "old friend" Sean Penn in an intercepted text message. [The Daily Beast]
  • "I’d like to put my tongue through her hair and lick every part of her head for the rest of her life. It would probably be appalling to her, but not to me." - Somewhat self-aware David Gest, talking about Texas singer Sharleen Spiteri, whom he's never met (lucky for her and her hair). [The Sun]
  • "I’m wearing a fat suit! It’s suffocating. Unfortunately, we live our life in public, so any weight gain or pimple is a national story. I don’t get this obsessions with weight. It’s not only Hollywood; it’s our society.” - Eva Longoria [Parker? Is she still adding that?] in her interview for February's Glamour, for which she graces the cover. (More pics here.) [Just Jared]
  • "I never expected that kind of thing, to be honest. I think that comes with my age, the whole sex-symbol thing. I'll grow out of that. It's a phase. And people want to turn you into merchandise in some way, don't they?" - Scarlett Johansson wants to be taken seriously as an actress, dammit! [Showbiz Spy]


sarah.of.a.lesser.god (aka Mrs. BrutallyHonestHobbit)

Best of luck, you crazy kids. I'm secretly hoping that Tripp will end up marrying my son (who I am now planning on naming Volvo Vulva Roomba Wombat Frappuccino Alpacino), if only for the opportunity to "accidentally" smash wedding cake in Sarah Palin's mug.