Just kidding โ€” no muffins. Apparently Bristol Palin's tour for her book, Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far, is drawing exactly the crowds you'd expect for a "memoir" written by a failed Star-dancer/unrepentant charlatan/world's pregnantest abstinence expert who was born in nineteen-goddamn-ninety. That is, zero. Zero crowds. So, logically, Palin is trolling for "fans" on Craigslist, that wonderland of dick pics, spambots, and murderers-masquerading-as-a-guy-who-just-wants-to-buy-your-futon. IT IS A FOOLPROOF PLAN.

As the Washington Post has it:

She had to turn to Craigslist to beg people to show up at a book signing on Saturday at Books-A-Million in the District. In an ad on the Web site, Palin offered free, autographed copies of her book to the first 100 people to RSVP. Even the conservative DC newspaper the Examiner noted that the ad was "an attempt to entice fans to attend the event."


Okay, so let's get this straight: In order to entice people who don't give a shit about your book to come to your book party, you're offering them free copies of your book (a zero-dollar value!) that they don't care about so they'll come to your book party that they don't want to go to? Because nothing lights up a room like a bunch of internet weirdos who are only there for the free garbage.

Oh, and bonus! The text of the ad reads:

Please join Bristol Palin and her ghostwriter Nancy French in a special book signing!


Hmmmmm. So what you're saying is, "Come to this empty bookstore and hang out with a girl who didn't write a book and some lady named Nancy. In exchange, we'll give you some shit you have to throw away later." Wow. I can't say no to a hard sell like that, Bristol!

It would be sad if she wasn't such a complete dickhead.

Bristol Palin's Craigslist Plea for Fans [WaPo]