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Illustration for article titled Brighton/Breach/Memoirs

[Brighton, England; July 30. Image via Getty]

BRIGHTON, ENGLAND - JULY 30: Henry Allingham's daughter (C) arrives at the funeral for her father, First World War veteran Henry Allingham, at St Nicholas Church on July 30, 2009 in Brighton, England. Henry Alligham was Britain's oldest surviving World War I veteran, the oldest Royal Navy Veteran, the last survivor of the battle of Jutland, a founder member of the Royal Air Force and at the time of his death was the oldest man in the world at 113 years. (Photo by Dan Kitwood/Getty Images)


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Erin Gloria Ryan

If I live to be 113, nobody's wearing black to my funeral. Everyone's wearing gorilla costumes and having Disney sing alongs and eating angel food cake. Afterwards, my 113 year old corpose is to be put on a boat and lit on fire via flaming arrows.