Brevity Is The Soul Of Crap

Summertime brings with it two things: weddings, and bad decisions. Crap emails are shorter in the summertime, and usually sent from mobile devices. Because these are so brief, we're bringing you two. Bianca is newly out of a very intense relationship and, vulnerable, exchanging flirtatious texts with her longtime BFF Lyle. Katy is six months out of a relationship with a guy, John, she hasn't heard from since. Both guys are kind of crappy, and very, very clueless.

From: Lyle Date: June 5, 2007 9:24:26 AM EDT To: Bianca Subject: Hi! Last Night!

Jeez, someone take the phone out of my hands when I'm that drunk. (Awoke fully clothed on sofa.)

I blame [mutual best friend], natch. Sorry to trigger an exchange that shouldn't have happened via that medium.
Let's take mushrooms in Maine and figure it all out.


Herewith, John and Katy. Who haven't spoken since their relationship ended, badly, six months earlier.

On 5/27/07, [John Doe] <> wrote: Do you want to come to my wedding ————————————— Sent using BlackBerry

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What about "Sure, if I can get my stuff back first. Sent from my iPhone," followed by an itemized list and CC'd to the bride, who has no doubt become fond of what she thought of as her man's stuff.