Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Breaking! The Hills' LC's Sex Tape Gives Someone A Really Bad Excuse To Use Term "Beef Curtains"

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The Hills star Lauren Conrad apparently made a sex tape back when she was with her eminently classy and mild-mannered boyfriend Jason, and now Jason — headed to jail for 60 days following something of a tipsy brawl with a few members of the lumpenproletariat — is trying to sell it on the interwebs! This gives someone — we bet you can guess that "someone"'s gender! — the opportunity to observe, anonymously:

"LC's got really large beef curtains."

Sometimes — a Nicholson Baker book once pointed out to us — our opinion on an issue changes without us even realizing it. Whereas the term "sex tape" once inspired in us a sort of woozy, unclean feeling reminiscent of how we felt looking at Missing And Exploited Children pictures on the sides of milk cartons, now we're like, "Sex tape? A reality TV star? Really? Maybe potential employers will figure out a way to test for that, like with your piss or something. Huh. We don't know how they'd do that though."


Speaking of employers: Maybe LC should have been working for the Hearst Corporation, not Conde Nast. Because as you can see from our mash-up of LC and Jason with an item from this month's Redbook, the Teen Vogue intern was apparently right in step with the cultural mores of that rival company's readers.

The Hills Sex Tape Scandal [Perez Hilton]

Earlier: Jail Time For Jason []

Jason Wahler's MySpace Page