BREAKING OMG: Did John McCain Bone Blonde Lobbyist?!

Illustration for article titled BREAKING OMG: Did John McCain Bone Blonde Lobbyist?!
  • Maybe no.. But he would have, if loyal advisers had not protected him from himself! Loyal advisers who are now telling the Times all about it? (Loyal advisers who wish he had left the GOP? Seems poss!) Vicki Iseman. A youthful-looking 40. Pretty! Deny deny deny. Gary Hart was his groomsman, you know! The "miracle" Huckabee's been waiting for? [NYT]
  • Let's be clear, Bill O'Reilly doesn't want to "lynch" Michelle Obama. Not until he has enough "evidence." He will "track it down." [Media Matters]
  • Tucker Carlson just said he thinks she's got a "chip on her shoulder." Not that there's anythign wrong with that.
  • All she was talking about was the record turnout! [CBS News]
  • And let's go back to the chip thing for a sec. As Chris Matthews so helpfully pointed out this morning, slavery was in the Constitution. She grew up bound and determined to succeed, flung herself into an Ivy League bastion of entrenched privilege and classism and survived. Better than can be said for some of us but whatevs. [WSJ]
  • So...stats on Cindy McCain: only child, affluent, high school cheerleader, rodeo queen, Theta at USC, met John at a military reception when he was still married. Married him, several miscarriages, three kids, volunteer work in disaster areas, SCANDALE...stress stress ... can't ... find ... receipts...PILLHEAD!...stealing pills from volunteer work. Adopts Bangladeshi child, two kids join military, innocuous. Gratuitously cold and snippy re Michelle! (Also gratuitously blonde; neither here nor there.) [Wikipedia]
  • Ann Coulter's credit score = patriotic? [Page Six]
  • Hillary is actually better off for losing nine states in a row because now all the indecisive ladies of Texas and Ohio will feel sorry for her and vote for her. [Slate]
  • Also: Hillary hunts, is a better shot than you know whose eighth cousin! [NY Daily News]
  • Another union full of Birkenstock wearing trust fund thespians goes endorses Obama. [AP]
  • Jesse Jackson doesn't necessarily want Hillary to quit, he just wants her entire campaign staff to quit. [Politico]
  • I want to have his babies of the day: Jon Stewart is on Larry King. (Actually Jon was my first-ever celeb crush, when I was 13 or 14 and he was in Seventeen promoting "You Wrote It, You Watch It." At the time I was 5'4 so I thought he actually seemed tall enough. Le sigh.)



OMG Jon! Jon! Jon! OSCARS!

Speaking of Jon Stewart and comedians, I saw Denis Leary in the street today! I've lived in this 'hood all my life—Manhattan is crawling with celebrities—and I can only imagine how many times I have been within rage of dear Jon or Anderson Cooper or Ryan Gosling or Ed Norton or Jake Gyllenhaal or my girl crushes, blah blah blah (as if I would do anything but drool).

I like some of his comedy and "Rescue Me" and Denis Leary seems like an asshole, but in person, he's tall/kind of handsome. Huh.

(Sorry—I did a double take in the street and was taken off guard and that is milestone in my pathetic life).

That said—Tucker Carlson just said he thinks she's got a "chip on her shoulder." Not that there's anythign wrong with that.

Tucker Carlson is a shithead who used to wear bowties. Normally I could give a shit, but he's an asshole, so it his red and/or shit-brown bowties with mustard polka dots were just icing on the fucktard cake. Now he does his show bare-throated (and I saw it for those first few weeks, when he got his solo show...instead of Paul Begala his regular guest was a tall, hot hipster lesbian whom he got along with pretty damn well).

Speaking of Tucker—-to quote Jon: STEWART: You know what's interesting, though? You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.


Jon, with your beautiful family and your pets and that puppy you brought out the week after 9/11 for the moment of Zen after tearing up, you are my hero. Add Stephen Colbert and Steven Carrel in there too.

That trio + Tina Fey would almost give me hope....