Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Breaking News! Jennifer Love Hewitt Is A Human Being.

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I really can't fault the news media: aside from the war and the mortgage crisis and the oil crisis and the twelve billion wars preoccupying Africa right now, what is there really going on besides Jennifer Love Hewitt's blog entry addressing the subject of her ass? Yesterday it was all over CNN, and today I switched to MSNBC only to be treated to an entire segment featuring plus-size model Emme on a scandal I guess I'll call Badonkgate. Here's a quick summary:

SIZE ZERO NEWS ANCHOR: I don't know, there was just something that REALLY pissed me off about this!

EMME: blah blah blah why do we buy into this blah blah blah magazines.

SZNA: blah blah

EMME: blah blah acceptance

SZNA: You go girl!

EMME: You go girl!

So to recap: Jennifer Love Hewitt gained some weight. She is a celebrity. The paparazzi snapped a picture corroborating this. This is not yellowcake in Niger or Shakespeare's authorship of all nine hundred collected works of Shakespeare or even the theory of evolution. No one is disputing the facts: one woman; one bikini, a little tighter than it was before. So why the shitstorm? Why, when we already went through this just months ago with Tyra? Why why why are we still calling it "empowering" when a woman makes her weight fluctuations into a career? Is the American populace so ignorant and dumbed down that the only thing that can keep their attention is the process by which the consumption of more calories results in more body weight and vice versa? No but really truly?