Boring Person Pippa Middleton to Be Interviewed as Though Interesting

On Monday and Tuesday, NBC's TODAY will air a two-part interview with Pippa Middleton. The interview will mark the first time the sister of the wife of the guy who will be King of England after two people die has spoken on camera anywhere, and (falls asleep, immediately snoring very loudly).

NBC is teasing the interview by pointing out that Pippa Middleton has done some interesting things. She went on a very long bike ride for charity. That's interesting! She runs triathlons. Also interesting! She, uh.... wrote a book nobody bought. That's... interesting... She.... wore... a ..... dress......


Sorry. Pippa Middleton is not interesting.

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Here are a list of topics I'd imagine she might be talking about during her two part interview next week:

  • ferns
  • hat bands
  • quietly, nervous laughter
  • scones
  • racing saddles
  • Matt Lauer's forced "warmth"
  • hand towels
  • sighing while looking out of a window into rain
  • brief, polite hugs
  • British guys

If we're lucky, we'll also hear about a wedding that happened 3 years ago. Fingers crossed!

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