Bobby Jindal: I Am a Big Strong Muscle Guy

BuzzFeed Exclusive: Bobby Jindal has muscles, and maybe even a very very big and Presidential penis.

Like thousands of confused and sweating Europeans, the Louisiana governor descended upon New York City this week. But instead of jamming himself into the Statue of Liberty or taking the 6 train in the wrong direction and then stopping me on my run at the Brooklyn Bridge to ask me, in German, if I speak German (nein.), he stopped by the BuzzFeed offices to make a stunt video featuring him doing pushups against BuzzFeed staffers wearing symbolic tee shirts.

It’s no cooking bacon on a machine gun, chainsawing the tax code in half, or smashing a cell phone with a blunt object, but it’s a solid stunt video in that it is both mildly impressive and definitive proof that the candidate is a desperate whore.

Up next in the GOP candidate dick-measuring contest: Jeb Bush pisses the entire Declaration of Independence on a pristine Rocky Mountain snowscape.