Black Friday: The Terrible Movie

While going through photographs from yesterday's Black Friday shopping madness, I noticed that many of the pictures resembled shots from films depicting zombie takeovers or an impending apocalypse. With that in mind, I bring you Black Friday: The Movie.

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In a world where people wake up at 4am to get a good deal on a television set...


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...where human beings are willing to spend $25.00 on a crayon maker...


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...and where people continue to "choose juicy..."


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...we should have seen it coming.


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"Mr. President, he says his name is Todd and that he's from the planet BroGo. He says he'll destroy Earth unless...we shop." Dun-dun-dun!!!!


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There is no resistance...


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"Jesus, Helen, what do we do?" "I don't know, Alan! All it says here is that there are doorbusters on Panasonic Lumix cameras!" "Oh. My. God."


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"Just shut up, Brandon! If I have to buy an Imaginarium so that my grandkids can have an Earth to play on, then so be it, dammit!"


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"Mr. President? I'm rounding up the Transformers as we speak. Let's blow this shirtless bastard back to outer space through the power of consumerism. God bless America."


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"My god, Tiffany. They're selling Gremlins for $3.99! Don't you understand whats happening here?"

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"Trevor, is it really the end of the world?" "No, Karen. Not as long as someone out there buys a plasma tv." "But who can afford that in this economy?" "Someone brave enough to get up at 4am to shop, Karen. They're our only hope."


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Ready...


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"Quick, Harris, put more shit in the cart! It's the only way!"


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Set...


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"Don't you understand?!? You have a choice, Madison: buy this scarf, or be eaten by the giant plaid-clad girl in the window."

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Shop. (Dun-dun-dun!!!!)


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Black Friday: Shop Or Be Dropped This Thanksgiving.

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DISCUSSION

While I'm not exactly "pro" Black Friday (I prefer celebrating Buy Nothing Day myself), I do feel that a person who wakes up at 4 am to take pictures of hapless shoppers has to be a tad exploitative. (As for those who comment on said pictures - sorry, Hortense, I love you, but...)

I can't bring myself to laugh at the captions, no matter how funny they are, because it's a bit holier-than-thou, look-how-much-better-than-these-people-I-am.