Big Wedding, Yes; Boob Jobs & Botox, No

Illustration for article titled Big Wedding, Yes; Boob Jobs & Botox, No

You know, every time someone writes about weddings our commenters [And me. -Ed.] are all, "I would never spend any money on a wedding!" and "I can't believe anyone would lose weight for their big day, how superficial!" and "I am so unmaterialistic and wonderful I'm getting married in a burlap sack at the bottom of a big hole in the dirt because weddings are stupid and they should really be about true love and blah blah blah." But seriously? Fuck that noise. I totally want a huge-ass wedding and a pretty, poofy dress and I'll probably try to lose five pounds by joining some retarded gym program right before the wedding. There, I said it. But I promise not to go as apeshit as the women profiled today's Guardian.


According to the paper, women are getting boob jobs, nose jobs, Botox, and more than 20% of brides polled by academic researchers "were taking an approach [to weight loss] that the researchers perceived as 'extreme', including downing laxatives, vomiting after meals and adopting a new-found smoking habit as a way to stave off hunger pangs."

"You could say bollocks to it and get married in something from Topshop," writer Alice Wignall says, "but it's not easy for any woman who has grown up with the beauty myth - even if she's actually read The Beauty Myth - to do that on the one day still marked most seriously by old-fashioned notions of femininity."

Cosmo and MSN took those old-fashioned notions of femininity to heart when they printed this list of Single-Girl Things to Do Before You Marry. (Goddamn, this list is stupid.) "Slip one of those furry covers on the toilet," Cosmo suggests; "Plan your fantasy wedding!" "If all you feel like eating for dinner is ice cream and diet soda, buy a cone and pop a Coke!" Except for the planning the wedding part, the entire list is filled with idiotic tripe that you could do when you're married, too. Isn't there some sort of middle ground between getting married in Topshop and planning your Cosmo-licious fantasy wedding years before you've even met a prospective husband?

And The Bride Wore Botox ... [Guardian]
Single-Girl Things to Do Before You Marry [MSN, reprinted from Cosmopolitan]

Earlier: Single Slut Crashes New York Weddings Showcase



@TurangaLeela: It's true. I recently got married, I wasn't bridezilla, I was calm and didn't go nuts about the bridesmaids butt bows not matching their purses or the band hitting a wrong note in the middle of the cake cutting song. But it's really obnoxious when you get frustrated about something and your whole family starts calling you "bridezilla" or when your crazy motherinlaw offers your apartment to visiting relatives while you're away on your honeymoon, then gets upset when you say no, or when your fiance's family keeps smacking food out of your hand the day before the wedding because "you have to fit in a wedding dress" (even though you're already a size four, nevermind the fact that normal eating the day before isn't going to make you go up a size...)

So I see getting emotional sometimes.

The princess party shit when the girls (GIRLS) think more about the party than the marriage are disgusting and should be outlawed.