Beware the Danger of the Super Bowl Bladder Infection

Illustration for article titled Beware the Danger of the Super Bowl Bladder Infection


There's so much excitement during the Super Bowl that it can be easy to get caught up in all the hoopla and... forget to attend to basic bodily functions? Most people are usually more concerned with consuming as many nachos as possible than they are about whether they're breathing or have to go potty, but according to Methodist Hospital in Houston we should put our bladder's needs before all others.

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Why is this even a thing? Well, apparently, some of us get so engrossed by the exciting advertisements that we forget what commercial breaks are really supposed to be for—using the toilet. Methodist Hospital's Dr. Jeff Kalina spells out the danger in holding it in:

During most sporting events people will get up and use the restroom during the commercials and not have any problem. However, most of the time the commercials are the best part of the Super Bowl, so we have seen people who have to come in and have a catheter put in to relieve themselves.

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Eeesh. Ferris Bueller ads be damned, I will see you all in line for the bathroom at every commercial break and also a few times during the game, just to be safe.

Remember to Pee During the Super Bowl, Methodist Hospital Somehow Warns [Houston Press]

Image via Sylvie Bouchard/Shutterstock.

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DISCUSSION

I remember one particular Super Bowl Sunday, when my dad (a rabid 49ers fan) announced to the entire household that the family room television was off limits to anyone not interested in watching the game. He then proceeded to prepare his Super Bowl Food Orgy with platters of cold cuts, cheese, crackers, fried foods, assorted wings of buffalos, ribs of large animals cut into bite sized portions. This was a Buffet for the Gods. Next day, my mother took him to the Emergency Room with what he thought was a heart attack, but thankfully was just gas.

Oh, but his asshole did explode, creating not only the largest hemmorhoids known to man, but also the need for surgery on said hemmies, which put dad out of commission for a month. Regrettably, this Sunday my father's beloved 49ers will not be at the Super Bowl, but my mother is making sure he takes his Metamucil and he's only getting a veggie tray.