Illustration for article titled Being A Loser In High School: Why Does It Seem To Damage Dudes So Much Worse Than Girls?

I've decided I like it better when college students write the weekly "Modern Love" columns in the NY Times because college is when you still remember high school, which is when everyone got so goddamned warped re: fucking. (Bonus: they're not about loveless marriages, about which Tolstoy was maybe full of shit.) Anyway, Sunday's installment was by one of those videogame nerds who thought he was undoable until he learned to apply his videogame nerddom to getting girls, at which point he used the power of charming IMs, emails and elaborately orchestrated dates to garner nineteen separate girlfriends until the words "I love you" appeared on his cell phone and somehow impressed upon him that he wasn't playing a videogame anymore! Okay, so: I am actually still meeting dudes like this. Dudes whose spate of adolescent girl rejections are never far from their immediate self-justification mechanism. Dudes who were dorks. Invariably portrayed as endearingly clueless in movies, these dudes in real life, are some of the most self-involved and misanthropic and dangerous (or simply insufferable) to date.


So here is my question: I was a dork in high school. And sure, that probably helped make me a slut, but never the sort of boy crazy sociopath you'd expect, given my degree of social alienation. Why is Being A Nerd In High School so much more damaging to dudes than girls? Is it just that even nerdy girls get hollered at on the street?

Instant Message, Instant Girlfriend [NYT]

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