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Behold, the Best Halloween Costume Ever Invented

Illustration for article titled Behold, the Best Halloween Costume Ever Invented
Screenshot: Yandy

I have no real concrete “plans” for Halloween, mostly because I don’t like being scared and also have aged out of trick-or-treating. Additionally, there is a global pandemic that prevents normal Halloween activities like dressing up as Carole Baskin or whatever and going to a bar. However, this has not stopped me from alerting you all to the most versatile, and also the best, Halloween costume that exists on this planet. It’s this dress. The “Tater Thot” costume is the costume that will keep on giving, for years after this curséd plague Halloween passes.

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First of all, no one is going anywhere really, so who gives a shit if you trade your Entireworld sweatsuit in for a tube dress that screams TATER THOT across the bosom? Wear this shit inside your house. Wear it as a tube top. Wear it as a base layer for when you want to feel ~*sexy*~ but have no real reason to do so. Wear it to embody the spirit of the accompanying copy, which doesn’t make a lick of sense at first, but then, eventually, does:

Don’t be an afterthought, be a foxy tater thot. Take your tantalizing, teeny tiny size and promiscuity to the frying pan and let it sizzle in this exclusive Tater Thot costume featuring a tube dress with an enlarged tater tot print, TATER THOT printed in white across the bust, a stretchy fabric with a subtle sheen, and a flattering curve-hugging fit.

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Setting aside any assumptions about my “tantalizing, teeny tiny size,” I’d like to marinate further on the idea of sizzling my “promiscuity” in a frying pan. I don’t know... what that means, but winter will surely give me all the hours I require plus more to contemplate that statement! It’s just nice to know that even amidst all the various forms of unrest the world serves at any given moment, Yandy will continue making perverted and nonsensical Halloween costumes for a future in which we might be able to have parties with strangers. That’s the sort of optimism I like to see.

Senior Writer, Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

kinjasintheoutfield
Kinjas in the Outfield

Stuff like this always vindicates me because I was using this phrase 5 years ago and everyone thought it was dumb. I mean it’s still dumb but now people think it is worth money. To be the Vincent Van Gogh of throwaway expressions will be my legacy.