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Everyone knows the web is mostly angry sad people masturbating, but every once in a while you stumble across something so delicious it makes you hug yourself and squeak.

Welcome Google Agony Aunt.

"Hi i have a problem. I have a girlfriend in Canada and she's lying to me about the fact that she sings in a band called Skye Sweetnam and I don't know what to do because i don't want to tell her I know she's lying because i'm afraid of losing her and I really love her."

Hey, as long as the sex is good, huh?

"1 of my rele gd frends has tld me she loves me. im now worried she has become totally obsessed with me nd sez she'd do nefin 4 me. im rele scared nd worried coz i have no idea wot i shud do i cnt tlk 2 ne1 bout this nd its takin ova my life. plz help me fanx xxxxxxxx"

kll yrslf.

"help me, i gave my bf oral, and he came, then i drank to get rid of the taste and we kissed then he gave me oral, now my periods late and im scared im pregnant, is this possible? also once when i gave him oral he came, but alot of it whet on the bedsheets, and we was naked, so im finking i could be prrgnant cause of that, please help me and let me know if any of this is possible for pregnancy :(( thanksxxx"

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And I'm finking you'll have six kids before you're 18.xxxxxxxx