"Because a man's instinct is to protect and provide for his offspring, his very masculinity is challenged when his child, born or unborn, is killed. And because men tend to deny their emotions — their "pain is taboo in our culture," said one conference presenter — they avoid thinking about abortion. Their 'impacted grief,' exposed as anger, leads them down many nasty roads — inability to connect with others being a key one but also abuse of drugs or alcohol, sex addiction, impotence, abuse of pornography, depression. Finding God seems to be one thing that helps." — from the Nation's take on men who suffer from "Post-Abortion Syndrome," which author Sarah Blustain calls "the bastard child of post-traumatic stress." [The Nation]
Okay, I'm going to ask you all something, somewhat related to this post, but mostly dealing with myself, yay. Have you ever "the talk" with a boyfriend, someone you were in a relationship with and having sex with? (I'm assuming no one has the talk for a one night stand...)
Last night, after five years of dating, the topic of abortion came up, and my boyfriend was shocked that I would have one. He is apparently technically pro-choice, but only in the "right circumstances" and no girlfriend of his will have an abortion ever. He believes that we should be responsible for the consequences of our actions (sexing it up) and that's that. Oh, of course, he couldn't drop out of his PhD program to find a better-paying job even though I would have to drop out of grad school to raise his kid. So, apparently the consequences of our actions would only be felt by me.
The thing is, I don't question that he'd be a great dad, and that we might have kids some day, but gah, really!? I told him that if he had a major issue with this, then maybe our actions would have to be less of the baby-making kind, since I wasn't too excited to face the "consequences" for at least 10 more years, if I even decide to have kids. Eventually he relented and said that if I ever got pregnant and decided to have an abortion that it would be "okay," but I can picture him turning into one of these dads in this article. His mother even told him that if any of her kids (4 sons) ever got a woman pregnant she would raise the kid because she is anti-abortion. I mean, at least he thinks that idea is ridiculous...I'm trying to picture a 24 year old woman giving her boyfriend's mother a baby to raise, right.
I read all the abortion stories yesterday, but not too many mentioned very much about the dad, probably for a good reason, that the decision should be the woman's. However, I still respect my boyfriend's opinion to a certain degree, and I wonder what your experiences with the men involved has been.