BCBG is a $1 billion mall chain that sells almost nothing more expensive than $500 started by a man who openly claims American women are more fashionable than French ones even as it insists on observing wholly un-American return policies, so why its second-ever runway show was such a Colossal Event mystified me somewhat. One woman brazenly cut in front of me in line β€” and it was the standing room only line β€” though maybe she was just doing it to get away from the other lady who was wearing the exact-same ruffly cream eyelit sack-dress that fashion is supposed to be paradigm shifting away from right now. Well, guess what, girly-girls? At least from the nosebleed section, the paradigm shift appeared to = adding a brown leather belt to the same white shift and calling it "tailored."

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Apparently Ciara and Ashlee's sis were both in attendance at this show; as was Ashlee, but we spent our time stalking Katja, a kindergarten student and Jersey City resident who was one of Fashion Week's few attendees electing to partake in the free Krispy Kreme donuts β€” and wait a minute, did Krispy Kreme rise out of liquidation or whatever just to taunt the ketosis fanatics? β€” until she allowed us to ask her, "What dress was prettiest?"There was some deliberation. Then Katja, the daughter of a stylist, said:

I liked the blonde ones the best

Which about sums up this show: lots of blondes, pretty flowy hair, a token Asian, Lucy Liu-style, pretty knee- and tea-length dresses, blasting Lily Allen or someone who sounds exactly like her... all perfect shit for your inner six-year-old. And yeah, we all have one.

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[Photos by Briana E. Heard]