Reality television, on the whole, is pretty terrible. The bottom of the barrel no longer exists; it is gone, it has disintegrated into tiny glittery bits that now line the carpets of the Rock of Love bus.

Still, reality television keeps finding ways of lowering the bar, and Battle of the Bods is the latest show to take its place as The Worst Fucking Show Of All Time. This show makes I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here look like quality television. It even makes the MTV abomination "Next" look classy by comparison.


Here's the premise: women dress up in bikinis and "rank" themselves according to how they think a panel of men (who, by the way, just look like they reek of Axe and say things like "I'm really feeling your energy right now" all the time) will judge them. "How well do women know what men reallllly like?" the hostess, Olivia Lee, asks, before explaining that the women will win cash based on their ability to match their own personal ranking with the ranking of the bros on the panel. It's a pretty disgusting, degrading, and sad set up- the women spend most of the show comparing themselves with each other and desperately hoping that their own personal self-assessment matches up with the view of the dudes, as if their self-worth HAS to be validated by a man.

In this clip, the women are judged on their "booty shake" by a panel of "athlete" men. If you can watch this without wanting to break your computer screen, I salute you. It's pretty fucking infuriating, and only serves to further the idea that women should be judged on their bodies at all times (it's especially sad that these women buy into this shit) and that no woman should be able to formulate an opinion on her own body unless a man is there to tell her if she's right or wrong.

Battle Of The Bods [Hulu]