Batshit Lawmaker Says Women Should Have to Watch an Abortion Before Getting One

Illustration for article titled Batshit Lawmaker Says Women Should Have to Watch an Abortion Before Getting One

When it comes to women's reproductive rights, Arizona seems to be going for some kind of land speed record in obliterating them. But you have to hand it to them. Even though they've already established themselves as pretty much the worst, they're not content to rest on their cringe-inducing laurels. No, they continue to work hard to promote their potent "Take Your Uterus and Run" message, and their latest effort involves a state representative who told a constituent that she'd like to see a law that makes every women who wants to get an abortion watch another woman get one first.


This genius idea comes courtesy of a rising star in the area of complete lunacy. Meet Terri Proud, a Republican state representative who sent an email so vile that we need to create a new category called Crap Email from a Local Politician and then hold a ceremony to retire Proud's power suit and raise it to the rafters of Jezebel stadium because no one will ever be able to top her achievement in the bloodsport of crap emailery.

Her outburst was brought on when a constituent, who wisely has chosen to remain anonymous, wrote Proud to express opposition to HR 2036. (The bill would ban abortions after 20 weeks because, its supporters claim, that is when a fetus can start feeling pain.) Rather than going with the classic "Thanks for your opinion, but I disagree" form-letter reply, Proud sent this lovingly-crafted reply:

Personally I'd like to make a law that mandates a woman watch an abortion being performed prior to having a "surgical procedure". If it's not a life it shouldn't matter, if it doesn't harm a woman then she shouldn't care, and don't we want more transparency and education in the medical profession anyway? We demand it everywhere else.

Until the dead child can tell me that she/he does not feel any pain - I have no intentions of clearing the conscience of the living - I will be voting YES.

Whoa. That is some next level shit right there. It makes getting one of the transvaginal ultrasounds that other states are pushing sound like a delightful afternoon spent wandering through the Pro-Life theme park. Seriously, you ought to be very Proud of yourself, girl. (Get it?) It is definitely not at all awful to subject someone going through an often wrenching and emotional procedure to an audience. And women who have perfectly valid reasons for wanting abortions totally deserve to be forced to watch someone else's private medical experience. (Hey, maybe if no one is getting an abortion that day, we should force them to watch an ACL repair or a bit of brain surgery just for kicks!)

Now, you might be tempted to believe that this email—which was sent from her work account, natch—was some kind of drunk prank done after Proud had one too many glasses of Chardonnay and got giggly, but, alas, it's legit. In an email to Insider, the blog that first posted her missive, she stood by what she's said, maintaining that women should be aware of any surgical procedure they're going to have, "especially when a foreign object is extracting from a delicate organ." Well, in that case, I hope the next time Proud needs to have an emergency appendectomy or a colonoscopy, she'll insist that it be broadcast on national television so that we might all learn from it.


Proud obviously likes this idea a lot, which makes sense because it is WONDERFUL. But is she actually considering trying to make it into law? Unclear. She's one of the more conservative members of the legislature, which these days is saying something, and she's managed to do pretty crazy shit before. For instance, earlier this month she introduced, and got passed in the house, a bill that allows public schools to teach the Bible as an elective. Her reasoning? Kids who read the Bible tend to have higher GPAs. Probably because God helps them cheat on tests, but anyway the point is that she doesn't seem shy about doing dumb things.

HuffPo tried to track her down, but someone in her office said she was "performing legislative duties and unavailable for immediate comment." Maybe she's watched others like herself get torn to shreds by the "lamestream media" and has learned the valuable lesson (ahem) that publicly defending your terrible ideas can only lead to a lifetime of heartbreak and despair and an eternity spent rotting in hell for the crime of letting the media kill your baby idea.


Her Democratic colleague, House Minority Leader Chad Campbell, is crossing his heart and hoping to die (probably literally since he must be beyond tired of having to deal with all the insane shit going down in Arizona) that Proud is not seriously considering proposing this as an amendment to the bill to ban abortions after 20 weeks. Campbell did smartly point out, though, that Proud's proposal is actually kind of liberal when you think about it: "Talk about big government, that's the epitome of big government." Do you have the cartoon post-head-injury stars circling above you yet? He then added, "This is getting out of hand." To which we must give a hearty, "amen," because, yes, indeed, this is getting totally out of hand. In fact, it's not even close to the hand it was once in. It's probably left Earth and is all the way to Uranus by now.

Still, when all is said and done, even if Proud manages to somehow get this in as an amendment and hell freezes over and it's made into law, it would never stand. You see, Arizona, at least for the moment, recognizes that surgical procedures are not a spectator sport and has laws that stop random people from wandering into operating theaters. So, rest assured, ladies of Arizona, this crazy woman can't inflict her unique brand of psychological warfare on you just yet. Still, here is her contact information, should you wish to issue her an official invitation to come along for your next C-section or kidney stone removal. After all, it's all in the name of the "transparency and education in the medical profession" that she so loves.


Abortion Bill: Arizona GOP Legislator Says Women Should Witness Abortions [HuffPo]
Arizona lawmaker wants to go further on abortion laws [AZCentral]

Image via gosphotodesign/Shutterstock.


Violet Baudelaire

I hereby volunteer to be the woman that they film getting an abortion.

Open scene, I'm wearing a 50 style dress, standing in my kitchen just sliding a roast into my oven. I'm just about to give it an extra dab of butter when I look at the clock and realize the time. "Oh!", I say, putting my gloved hand to my mouth as I take my apron off and put on my hat to walk out the door.

Camera pan as I stroll down the street, happily nodding my head to the neighbors, cordially waving to old Mrs Dabney as she queries "Off to get another abortion, Alice?" while watering her roses. "You betcha!" I reply smilingly. "Oh you wonderful young women today!" she laughs back at me.

Fade in as I enter the doctor's clean homey office. A lovely colored nurse takes my hat and bids me to sit down, and I pick up the latest Good Housekeeping to browse while I wait. My, that Cherry Jello Parfait recipe looks divine!

I stroll back to the doctors office, a kindly, white haired older man who greets me heartily, uses a tongue depressor on me, checks my reflexes with his little hammer, and asks me to lay back. He puts that nice white sheet over my lower half, I relax and enjoy a nice chat with the doctor about how Marge his wife is doing at their summer home while he inserts a nice cool tool inside of me, and I take a few pills he's passed along. I hear a soft whirring sound, and joke "Oh Doctor, if only I were as good at vacuuming as you are, Bob would surely be home more!".

The doctor pops his head up, and I say "Done already?" as he pats me on the head and gives me a lollipop. Grape! My favorite!

I readjust my crinoline and give my punch card to the nurse at the station as I leave, but as I do, she stops me in my tracks with a terrible judgement look!

"I can't believe what you've done", she says, frowning mightily at me. "I saw you cut out that Cherry Parfait recipe from the magazine, how dare you! Now no one else will be able to try it".

Ashamedly, I agree and cleanly tape the recipe back in while the nurse forgivingly lends me a piece of paper and a bic to copy it down. Thank goodness! I almost did something I would have regretted forever today.

Closing shot of me clearing the dishes from our lovely roast dinner later that evening, as I set them in the sink and turn around with dessert - two delicious looking Cherry Parfaits that I hold on a tray and wink broadly at the camera as the scene turns to black.

Yes, I like this movie idea! Stellar concept