Baltimore Supermarket Deemed Best Place To See Ladies' Hot Butts

A Baltimore newspaper has praised one local grocery store not for its food selection or its prices, but for the number of yoga-panted butts on display there.

An item in the Baltimore City Paper reads,

Hooray for yoga pants, man. We mean, for dudes it’s the obvious thrill of lowbrow ogling, but for the ladies, too, they rock — best-case scenario they show off your ass, worst case they’re comfortable as shit. They’re basically sweatpants, except tighter and socially acceptable, right? “Going out” sweatpants, if you will. And nowhere in the metro area will you find more on display than at the Canton Safeway. Not for sale though, no, see, what we had meant was . . . OK fine, we admit it, this one’s for the shameless pigs out there. Hot females in yoga pants, running rampant in the aisles, there, we said it. With a bunch of gyms nearby, and, well, Canton all around, Safeway in the early evening is rife with fly honeys clad in formfitting, moisture-wicking goodness, that is to say, women whose interest in physical fitness evinces a preference for clothing that allows for maximum mobility. Insert obligatory Sir Mix-A-Lot reference, if you please.

This review actually appears to be less about Canton Safeway (do they sell items there?) than about yoga pants — and while their showing-off-your-ass properties might be nice for a private viewing or mirror strut session, I’d argue that in the “best-case scenario” they make it easier to do yoga. And while some ladies may be wearing their Lululemons to the Safeway because they want to look stylish and bootylicious, others are probably wearing them because they just came from working out and now they need to buy some food. Those in the latter group are not going to be particularly psyched when the “shameless pigs” in the City Paper readership descend on their local market for the purposes of butt-watching. They may even lash back against aggressive oglers — at which point Canton Safeway will become Baltimore’s Best Place To Get Your Ass Handed To You.