Badass Bride and Groom Totally Unfazed by Ruinous Acts of God

Illustration for article titled Badass Bride and Groom Totally Unfazed by Ruinous Acts of God

Right before Caleb and Candra Pence's outdoor Kansas wedding was set to begin, an ominous wall cloud formed on the horizon. During the ceremony, a tornado snaked toward the ground. But rather than interrupting their nuptials, retreating to the basement, and playing mildewed board games by candlelight for the next hour, the couple gave no fucks, and proceed as planned. This is Kansas, motherfuckers. Tornados aren't shit.

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The bull rider and barrel racer followed the ceremony by posing calmly in front of the natural disaster occurring several miles behind them, and then riding horses to the reception site. A torrent of rain followed almost immediately after everyone was safely inside.

If anyone was worried that perhaps the Pence couple had smiled while children were being flung around and humans impaled by flying garden implements several miles away, relax — the storms occurred in a remote enough area that no people were hurt.

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And with that, the Pences have earned the right to forever scoff at people complaining about bad weather.

Mazel tov, you crazy kids.

[AP]

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DISCUSSION

yvanehtnioj
yvanehtnioj

If anyone was worried that perhaps the Pence couple had smiled while children were being flung around and humans impaled by flying garden implements several miles away, relax — the storms occurred in a remote enough area that no people were hurt.

I'm glad this worked out for them and that they got cool pictures and badass points, but that's REALLY not how tornados work. If the weather can produce one, it can produce like 80. All over the place, and they don't move in predictable patterns or straight lines, they can jump up off the ground and then touch down 5 miles away, etc. etc. etc. If you can see one on the ground, you are in danger, basically. Even if you can't and the conditions are right for forming them (Tornado Watch, as opposed to Warning), it is better to get thee to the mildewed board games.

Sincerely,

yvanehtnioj*

*struck in her car** by a tornado on a day when 44 formed across the state in a matter of hours, and she was told it was A-OK to head home from work because she was headed south, instead of northeast, where tornados had been spotted on the ground.

** RIP, Chevy Blazer. You served me well.