Bacon Mania Has Gone Too Far. Again. Please Stop.

As foods go, bacon is pretty good. It’s the best of the breakfast meats, it makes a tasty baked-potato topping and it’s a nice addition to a gourmet chocolate bar.

But the obsession with bacon has gone too far. There are bacon-of-the-month clubs, bacon maple sundaes, bacon soap, bacon bandaids, and bacon scarves. And now, perhaps inevitably, AdWeek reports there’s bacon deodorant. This has to stop.

Introduced just in time to appear in Christmas stockings and dorm-room Secret Snowflake exchanges nationwide, this odorous novelty comes from J&D Foods. You might recognize them as purveyors of “baconnaise” and other products.

Their website promises:

Using POWER BACON will probably make everyone drawn to you like you were the most powerful magnet on Earth. And by everyone, we mean friends, acquaintances, beautiful strangers, dogs, bears, swamp alligators, lions and even pigs. It’s like an aphrodisiac for your armpits.

This product costs $13. Yes, it’s tempting as a solution to the problem of what to buy for both the frat boys and Redditors in your life. But please do not feed this already out-of-control trend with your hard-earned money. Do not encourage the baconatics to walk around in public reeking of fried meats.

It is up to us to take a stand against bacon mania.

Bacon-Scented Deodorant Made Especially for People Who Sweat Like Pigs ‘An aphrodisiac for your armpits’ [AdWeek]