Baby-Proof Baby Books

Illustration for article titled Baby-Proof Baby Books

Much unlike many a magazine editor who recommends you buy all sorts of crap that they most likely got for free, your Jezebel staff doesn't get jack shit (other than books, unsolicited). And that's how it should be. But on our own time, in our personal lives, we still buy stuff. So this is Worth It, our recommendation of random things that we've actually spent our own money on. These are the things we buy regularly or really like, things we'd actually tell our friends about. And now we're telling you.


Unfortunately, my daughter was born without the ability to read. I understand that, with time and persistence, we can beat this thing together. Meanwhile, in the past nine months she's improved with leaps and bounds—whereas she once couldn't even hold a book in her hands, these days, she's really eating them up. Literally. She puts books in her mouth and sucks on them until the board pages soften enough to become tiny little choking hazards.

She's disgusting. I gave her a copy of the infant classic Pat the Bunny and she shredded it to pieces before she decided to start snacking on it, like an animal. In the middle of destroying the gift I bestowed upon her, she looked deep into my soul, held her breath, and quite visibly pushed out a massive dump, all without breaking eye contact. What an embarrassment! You'd think she were raised by a pack of wolves instead of two people in publishing.

Anyway, as parents, our hope is that continued exposure to literature will help in her assimilation to civilized society. The problem, though, is that her determination to treat books like a stray dog attacking a garbage bag in the alley behind a fried chicken joint just seems wasteful, and also a little dangerous. Thankfully, we've discovered Indestructibles, baby books that are printed on some kind of space-age, waterproof, tear-resistant, nontoxic, paper-like material. Not only can they withstand my daughter's feral impulses, they are also safe for the dishwasher and washing machine.

Indestructibles are picture books without words, which is fine, because, like I said before, my infant cannot read. However, after realizing that she could not ingest these books, she began to teach herself how to turn pages, which my husband and I believe is a step in the right direction. A baby step. Obviously.

Indestructibles, $4.95, Workman

Worth It only features things we paid for ourselves and actually like. Don't send us stuff.


HungryHungryHippie Returns!

obviously the best part about them is that they say things like "Hey Baby! Look at these animals on the ground!"