Remember when Avril Lavigne asked fans to pray that she heals from an undisclosed medical condition that she's not willing to disclose and everyone thought it was drugs or some kind of horrible cancer or something? Lavigne has now come on record to slam rumors that she's in rehab. But should she be?
In a tweet earlier this week, Lavigne (who, BTW still still doesn't like your girlfriend, thinks that thinks that you need to get a new one) told fans that she's doing fine and that the rehab rumors are "hilarious." The only thing Lavigne claims to be addicted to is Bing Crosby and the overproduced musical stylings of Nickelback. Well, at least the first part. But isn't any addiction problematic, Avril? Stars have gone to rehab for "exhaustion" and "Facebook" before, so getting help for your music issues is very much possible.
All joking aside, let's hope that Lavigne continues doing well and releases a new album soon because lots of Hot Topic stores are going under without her. The one at my mall just closed and I had to order my ironic Sailor Moon t-shirt on-line. Shipping was $5!!! Outrageous! [People]
Speaking of celebrities doing well, Amanda Bynes is allegedly stress-free and focusing on her health. TMZ reports that the troubled star has been diagnosed with both Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disorder (first I'm hearing of an actual diagnosis?) but that she's currently doing very well and working on getting into college to earn a psychology degree. She's doing yoga and pilates — and the room is full of hotties — reconnecting with her family and hoping to keep her mood as stable as possible for the longterm. [TMZ]
Selena Gomez brought a surprise guest to her family's Christmas celebration — Cara Delevingne (whose last name always gives me a panic attack because along with "sheriff" and "immediately" it's not a word I can spell in my head)! The two apparently went to the mall, bought hella bras and also slapped each other's asses in public. You know, all the stuff the heart wants. Speaking of which, that is a really good song. Let's watch the music video together now, shall we? [TMZ]
- Jillian Michaels gave her assistant a new car. Then she made her push the car up a hill while screaming "DO YOU REALLY WANT THIS? SHOW ME YOU WANT THIS! YOU'RE NOT A LOSER ANYMORE! YOU'RE NOT NOTHING!" [People]
- Scarlett Johansson loves to bake and watch Home Alone 2 on Christmas! You read it here first![People]
- Doesn't that part when Selena goes "This is a mooooooooodern fairytale " just make you want to cry? I have now listened to "The Heart Wants What It Wants" three times today.
- Elizabeth Hurley is starring in a new series about being the potty-mouthed Queen of England, which seems like it might be good. Speaking of series all of Mozart In the Jungle — my partner pronounces Mozart as "Moseart" and it kills me — is available on Amazon right now, so if you need to hear a baby voice this Christmas, Bernadette Peters is here and ready for you. [E!]
- Okay, still on the Selena Gomez song: "But I can't imagine a life without Breathless moments Breaking me down down down" Ugh, doesn't that just kill you? Am I the only one on the verge of sobbing in an empty Modesto living room at 8am?
- Jennifer Lawrence visited children in the hospital of her hometown of Louisville, Kentucky. The visit was apparently low-key and J.Law took photos and visited with patients without incident. And by incident I mean getting herself tangled up in someone's IV line and then knocking three beds over and laughing quietly about how adorably outRAGEOUS she is. [E!]
- Demi Lovato's selfies,ranked. [MTV]
- THE HEART WANTS WHAT IT WANTS, OKAY? JESUS, JUSTIN BIEBER REALLY DID A NUMBER ON SELENA GOMEZ! WHY DO YOU SUCK SO MUCH JUSTIN BIEBER?
- Someone named Twink Caplan is 67 today. Happy birthday, Twink Caplan! Here is some celebrity bold for you! Fun Fact: If you type "Happy Birthday" into a Google hangout, a bear with a cake appears and makes you think you're on acid. [D-Listed]
- Taylor Swift and Kate Middleton dressed well this year. [Cosmopolitan]
- Mariah Carey is in Aspen in heels and a gown. Because. [Lainey Gossip]
- Teresa Giudice is hiring a nanny for her children while she goes to prison. Hopefully it's someone who will curb all of Gia's creativity and make her settle down. [Reality Tea]
- Breaking: Courtney Cox has arms! Here are 82 pictures. [JustJared]
It's Christmas! Let's spend the day together and take care of ourselves AND EACH OTHER. Unless you feel like being hella mean in the comments, which is also fine because I didn't get a kitten this morning so nothing you can say will hurt me. ONLY THIS SELENA GOMEZ SONG. GOD, WHY IS IT SO GOOD?
Also: Here's the best video of all time, just for you.
Lede images via Getty