Erin Gloria Ryan's discussions

I picked it because it was the most hilarious expression of surprise. I looked for "female mad scientist," but alas, stock photo sites don't have pictures of female mad scientists. Read more

Ah nice catch. Meant to imply that but was distracted by the idea of David Arquette having sex. Read more

No thank you; I'll stick to my old reliable underwear-as-hat trick. Read more

As a woman, the only way to stop these techniques is through absurdity. You say "We should stop," he says, "I know baby" and keeps going, you respond, "But what about the Autobots? They can see us!" Read more

I was really into tits when I was a baby. Read more

This is too awkward for me to watch. Read more

Have you ever dated someone who is lactose intolerant? There are a lot of them, and they are farty. Read more

You'll probably want Hot Doug's before you want children. (Go on a weekday early in the lunch hour and you won't have to wait more than 10 minutes.) Read more

One day it will call to you, and you will understand. Read more

Or maybe they just buy their moosedogs wholesale from Hot Doug's. Read more

On that note, other suggestions for text on Got Milk ads- Read more

Milk farts will save this relationship. Read more

Teenage Mutant Ninja Gonads. Read more

The bag represents her love of Christ. Read more

Fair enough. But working full time job, writing for 12 hours every Sunday, writing this column, and training for a marathon don't leave me much time to mull over jokes that might get a little lazy from time to time. Nobody's perfect, and like Lilly Von Schtupp, I'm tired! Like a Frenchman after a particularly…

I wrote a post about how I hate St. Patrick's Day, and how it sucks because I'm expected to love it due to my Ryan-ness and having spent four years with the word IRISH across my hooded sweatshirts. Read more

Thank goodness. Read more

Despite my name that would indicate that I'm doing the Carryin' O' The Irish DNA, I'm actually half Scandinavian. I work hard and never hug anyone. Read more

[animalnewyork.com] Read more

Rush hour blue line is UNPLEASANT. Read more