@andBegorrah: "I'm Afraid 4 U" Read more
Erin Gloria Ryan
morninggloria
@BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit): Lazy like an Obama!!!!111!!! Read more
For me, having an orgasm takes a degree of perfect concentration. I can't even do it if like there's a blanket on my leg or my hand is getting squished or my hair is tickling my ear or if I'm too sweaty, and I'm pretty much 100% sure that I would never be able to have an orgasm if someone were there the entire time,… Read more
"Crazy" by Britney Spears would have been appropriate background music. Or "Crazy" by Aerosmith. Or "Drive Myself Crazy" by N'Sync. Or "Crazy in Love" by Beyonce. Read more
Of course you should never walk into a bachelor's pad alone. You need plenty of pre-canned "I'm not here for the cameras, I'm here for Brad!" type statements, you need a gorgeous dress with complicated straps. You need a hairstyle. You need a cute gimmick that he can remember you by, so that he gives you a rose and… Read more
It was just a pipe dream, Joe. Read more
Haterade: the official drink of ladies. Drink it yourself! Share your haterade with others! Freeze your haterade into ice cubes and serve it in a beverage on a summer day. Use your haterade to make Jello and serve it to your entire neighborhood! Bathe in haterade. Haterade also makes an excellent marinade for yourself… Read more
Men, shopping for food?! What are the women going to make them do next? Have babies? Menstruate? Cry? Grow breasts? Read more
Whenever I see the name "Zoe," I immediately picture that orange Sesame Street Muppet/sort of irritating Elmo sidekick. Read more
Can you hear me now? Good. Read more
Sounds like he won't be nailing anyone for quite some time. Read more
How about saying yes to that awesome druggy feeling you get after you work out? Why is that not used more in gym ads? Read more
This is why I have evolved a covering of poisonous spines. Read more
@andBegorrah: Yeah, but if you eat a baby, you eat for a day. Read more
@linnyt is a walking cliché: Racist. Read more
@BrutallyHonestBabes (aka Mrs. Sarah.of.a.Lesser.Hobbit): THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OFF THE RECORD! Read more
@Dodgergirl: It just makes me picture a bunch of puppies smelling each others' butts. Read more
My mother thought about getting me into baby modeling, but she was worried that I might get hooked on baby heroin and have a baby overdose, leaving my baby best friend Baby Janice Dickinson devastated. Read more
I thought at first read that the Palin article didn't focus completely on her reproductive capacity, although it seemed to continually revisit it. But now that I think about it, you're right. There's a weird obsessy undercurrent of constantly reminding the reader that she's totally reproductive and stuff. Read more