Everyone's a critic. Read more
My face through the entire movie (which I watched on an airplane): Read more
Thanks, it's my only art that I'm truly proud of. Read more
So according to freakonomics Read more
Yes. Read more
Things Callie Has Seen on the Internet, Ranked Read more
I checked and Butters is not banned. Maybe someone just hurt his feelings. (Classic Butters.) Read more
"Musical boner" is my term. What he said was " If she doesn't get your willy moving, you're gay (not that there's anything wrong with that!)" Read more
Huh. The Jez staff was weirdly fond of Butters. I'll look into this. Read more
These are the most Taylor Swift photos ever taken. Read more
Mine is definitely a cow's opinion. And a cover up for my true feelings. Read more
Hogwarts. Read more
Yes! Let's blow off our homework and go there instead of studying! Read more
Freedom isn't free. Read more
You're probably right, but I prefer "fuck a puck." Read more
Strangely, management really didn't like it when we mixed it for them, maybe because it was a workflow thing? We'd still do it when it was slow, but this incident, if I remember correctly, was on Valentine's Day or New Years and the restaurant was insane. Read more
I once had a man ask for cocktail sauce with his oysters. The restaurant I worked at didn't serve it, but I (very politely!) offered to bring him ketchup and horseradish and his wife ended up leaving an angry note with my manager that said I treated them like hicks. I think they just didn't know that ketchup and… Read more
That image is being used a lot in connection with this story, but it is not the same football dong. Read more
Jessica, thank you so much for everything. It's been almost three years since you plucked me out of working at a restaurant and changed my life completely (and in the best of ways). You have always gone to bat for us and that willingness to stand behind your writers and support them so completely is really special and… Read more
I believe you! Read more