Kelly Faircloth's saved articles

I have never been at TGI Fridays, but judging from the old pictures my aesthetic seems to be TGI with pastels.
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OK but are Brooklyn hipsters sporting this haircut yet? That TGI Friday’s founder, Scoggin, (center) had some sex appeal, baby. Man bangs!

You know what they should put in?

So long Waffle House doesn’t give up its aesthetic of half-burnt out 25w bulb lighting and how everything vaguely feels like it has a thin layer of congealed grease on it. Read more

Dang. She was pretty badass in real life too.

How did I never notice this joke!?!

Molly should have gotten a sequel. Or prequel. Maybe we would have learned that she helped Rose get on her feet and assume a new identity in New York.
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My complaint is that in real life, Margaret Brown threatened to throw Quartermaster Hitchens overboard if he didn’t take the lifeboat back to look for survivors. In the movie, Camera had her cowed and saying “you’re scaring me.”

WTF, dude. Read more

...and then her children had to edit the HELL out of her diaries so that the public wouldn’t see the sexy bits. Read more

They must have REALLY loved to fuck, because Victoria was terrified of childbirth and they had 10 kajillion kids. Read more

Considering the absolutely stifled and controlled way Victoria was raised (she was literally never alone, she wasn’t allowed to go down stairs without holding someone else’s hand, etc.) by a mother and advisor who absolutely were trying to home-grow a puppet they could control once she got to the throne, I choose to… Read more

I remember reading a letter she wrote to a friend essentialy complaining that she couldn’t bang her husband without receiving an unpleasant screaming souvenir of it nine months later. Poor Victoria. Born a horndog in an age without birth control. Read more

this is extremely me

Result: The Band Read more

I’m definitely the guy who bounces off the ship. Read more

Result: Cal’s Coat Read more

I’m the fake smokestack that they screwed up in the movie by making smoke come out of it! Read more

Kelly, this story is woefully incomplete. You left out the part where, after inheriting the Dukedom and his fortune, he realizes that no woman can ever truly love him for him, and so resigns himself to a loveless marriage with a young miss straight out of the schoolroom at Almack’s. However, after an invitation to a… Read more