Emily Alford's discussions

Hello! This is worse than being in the hospital 2 weeks ago. If I had but another appendix to give to get out of my live blogging duty

(Psssstt...I’m actually from Benton, but I think Chi Chi is from Greenwood, so I figured we could just split the difference and call it Shreveport to save confusion.)

Ohhh do Margaret Morris and Minnie Randell next! 

Thank you for your support. My managers, coaches, and I strongly believe the Olympic committee should be inundated with complaints until this obvious injustice is addressed.

Look, I don’t care where they tell it as long as it gets told. 

Sorry! I thought I’d stopped editing my first wrong comment and was instead making a new comment to correct the wrong comment. I come down here like twice a year, and it’s confusing! I’m now going to assume all those death threats on my blogs are accidents.

But to avoid passive voice, my advice is that “attributed” is the word that does the closest thing to action in this part of the sentence and should be the verb. I could update to change “is” to “should be.” But you’re right, as it stands “were never spoken” is the paltry bit of language this man chose to do no work in… Read more

Ah I just looked at the sentence and “were attributed” isn’t the passive verb, “were never spoken” is. My apologies. But in the passive construction of a verb, the “to be” word is always followed by the past participle of the actual action of the sentence. For example: “The author was corrected by a commenter.” “Was”… Read more

No worries there; my ovaries are broken from cancer, which might have landed me on Sanger’s “huge list” of no-no people even if my socio-economic background hadn’t! Thanks for stopping by to support my child-free lifestyle!

These didn’t make it into the blog, but...Are they advocating for laws around booty and a special task force to enforce said laws?

Hi! Um, wow!? I would love to hear every detail of that experience. Email ealford@jezebel.com if you want to talk a little bit about it. 

There will be no correct math in these or any of my writings. I’ve worked hard all my life to reject and avoid all of my formal number learning. If you are looking for sums that reach their logical conclusions, I must direct you elsewhere.

Jerry somehow I knew you’d come through with something delightful. 

I could write a whole other essay on how angry I still am that challenge didn’t land Phi Phi in the bottom over Latrice. Justice for my angel Latrice.

Oops, added too many zeros to the calculator. The post has been updated to reflect the fact that Witherspoon is simply very, very rich and not as unfathomably rich as her bosses at Apple.

That typo plus your joke are the only funny thing about today. Just fixed it but now I’m wondering if I should have left it for others to enjoy. 

I think of Susan Miller as a second mother. Maybe a first mother, since I actually listen to her advice. 

Sure but we are always last, given other signs’ hand me downs, and prone to tears about it. 

That picture was taken June 17, 2019 after a haircut. Truvy is ten, she just never grew. You can come for me but Miss Kennedy-Onassis is above reproach.

Vera! Thank you for reminding me that I have the option of watching Vera.