THIS. We. Have. Google. Now. Read more
C.A. Pinkham
Ubertrout
Yeah, this is the one time where disguising the name really helps the story. Read more
This is the point at which you buy a shock collar and prepare for a long weekend. Read more
They’re like Pokemon. Your CARIBOU evolved into MOOSE! It learned STAND IN THE ROAD AND FUCK UP TRAFFIC! Read more
Oh God, nuke-you-lur. I just...I couldn’t be in the same room as your husband. I would break something. Read more
Not 100% sure if I know how to pronounce that word correctly. Fortunately, it’s generally not a problem, since I usually just refer to it as “that awful shit that crazy people seem to love for some reason.” Read more
Nah. Read more
See, this always makes me laugh. I made fun of Timmies as a national icon and people were like, “WELL MCDONALD’S IS SHIT TOO” and I’m like “...yes, it is?” What exactly are people trying to prove? The idea that ANY country should have national pride in any corporation is just baffling to me. Read more
I desperately enjoy how angrily defensive people from the Maritimes and Newfoundland get about clubbing seals. Like, I don’t get angry about the subject at all, but it’s incredibly funny to me how vociferously they will defend the practice of seal clubbing on ethical grounds. I think it’s the angriest/most impolite… Read more
*coughwaybetterthanCanadianmaplesyrupanywaycough* Read more
BURNNNNNN Read more
The ironic thing is Panda Express is still better than most “Chinese food” you can find in the Rust Belt or Midwest. Read more
I hear “chi-POLE-tee” a lot and it drives me fucking crazy. This word isnt goddamn hard. Read more
This would’ve made an excellent submission. Read more
Free popcorn in a tray is our early front runner for best bco submission of 2015. Read more
I generally find that the quality of a Chinese restaurant is inversely proportional to the % of its sales made up of buffalo wings, chicken tenders, and french fries. Read more
I got the latter two there! Read more
This is fair; allergies definitely require more preparation to deal with. My point, however, was that a customer who dislikes an ingredient, or who has an intolerance rather than an allergy to that ingredient, shouldn’t be discounted simply because they didn’t say “I have an allergy.” Read more
In my experience, the vast majority of customers who have dietary issues are understanding about those issues. Read more