Lol k bye Read more
C.A. Pinkham
Ubertrout
I edit some submissions more heavily than others. When I get a great story written horribly, my work really begins... Read more
OH BURN Read more
Def was not a vet. Too much of a douche bag. Read more
I mean, I do spill shit on myself CONSTANTLY, so there's some truth to this. Read more
An editor pitched that headline and there was absolutely no way I wasn't going with it immediately. Read more
In five years, I never once tampered with a customer's food in any way. Not once. But goddamn if I didn't want to, and I'm willing to enjoy good stories from people who did. Read more
Lol you're assuming I like my mom Read more
There is ABSOLUTELY nothing you can say to get me to stop using those stories. I rarely use them as is, but the more people whinge about it, the more I want to. Read more
No, they've charged in. I banned a bunch of them and snarked at some more. Read more
You realize comments like this make me want to post more of them, right? I have no sympathy for people who lose their shit over those stories. None whatsoever. Read more
Rarely do I use "messing with food" stories — most of them aren't very entertaining. That one, both "my chicken BALLS" and the wink — especially the wink — made it wonderful for me. Read more
Please fuck off and never eat in restaurants ever. Read more
This is fair. A lot of being a server is reading your guests. Guests like you, who just wanted me to handle my shit and let them be about their business, were typically the tables I did the best with. Read more
It's worth noting that there are places that refuse to allow servers to write things down. I refused to work at those places, because fuck that, I have enough shit to remember without needing to memorize everyone's bullshit special orders. Read more
It really depends on how busy you are, true. Slow times, fun customers are great. Read more
This is a first-ballot Hall of Fame comment. Read more
THANK you. See? That's the best part of the whole thing. The wink is amazing. Read more
Lol bye Read more