Atoosa Rubenstein: Don't You Just Hang On Her Every Word?

Illustration for article titled Atoosa Rubenstein: Dont You Just Hang On Her iEvery Word?/i

Atoosa Rubenstein. Have you been DYING to know what's going on with everyone's fave "Alpha Kitty" her since she broke free from the confines of her job editing Seventeen and went feral?? Well, surely you know some disenfranchised teen with a big dream who has been DYING to know what she's got up her poufy sleeve. Right? She's big with the teens! Right? She had that whole MTV show , yes? "I left [Seventeen] because I realized that I was stepping farther and farther away from the journey that was meaningful to me," she says. Well, um, the New York Times exposes her New Media plan for conquering the girliverse and it... involves drag queens! Drag queens are hot right now, right?

So: Atoosa is shopping around one of those "how everyone should be like me and have everything that I don't even care about anymore because it is not meaningful" book proposals — shopping! — and she has more than 30,000 MySpace friends, which, let's see, puts her celebrity and influence just shy of Spankrock's. (Or like, yours, if you accepted every friend request.) And she is also reaching her massive fanbase with a series of YouTube videos "inspired" by Andy Warhol. Haha, get it? Maggie Erickson has taken your place, girl! Get a real job!!

Calling All Alpha Kitties [New York Times]

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Is she still writing those bullshit pieces for Forbes Online wherein she puts together slide shows to show gray hairs how in touch she is with the demographic that matters most to magazine peddlers and cosmetic conglomerates?

Oh, and is she still posting daily insights into her psyche - complete w/ animated emoticons?

Yeah...THAT'S why I went to J-school. Fuck.