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At some point in 4th grade some girl told us you couldn't get pregnant if you had sex in a Jacuzzi. Thankfully we realized that girl was an idiot. But: Dudes who hang out in hot tubs have impaired sperm function, reports the New York Times. The crazy part is that it's completely reversible: just stop the "exposure to wet heat" and the count goes back up! Except for guys who are also chronic smokers. They're screwed, so to speak. [NY Times]


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@whynotshesaid: HOLY SHITBALLS! (No way) Ok, if you're serious, I hope you don't have a baby. Unless you want to. That is effing terrible in the most amusing way.

@whynotshesaid: I saw some 13 year old girl (presumably) go down on a guy in the water at the beach. Salt water + rubbing = hell naw.

I wonder if the pull out can happen outside of water. I wear one too. Would be so funny if the bf's peen came out with a little plastic bracelet around it. hahahahahahaha!

@petuniacat: @kgibbs: Please come home with me for Christmas. Or better yet, the day after Christmas when our long-time friends come over with a case of expensive champagne one of them boosted from the restaurant she runs and we all get ROARING ass drunk and eat leftover Christmas gumbo and play poker and REALLY let the debauchery flow.

Good times.

PS — I almost passed out with laughter when I read "beaver shot" and "anal bleaching". I LURV you ladies.