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Assailant Anchor Alycia Lane Is Free! But Whither The Fucking Dykes?

Illustration for article titled Assailant Anchor Alycia Lane Is Free! But Whither The Fucking Dykes?

Alycia Lane, beater-up of cops and coiner of the creative derogatory term "You fucking dyke!" is free on felony charges. You know, Alycia scrappy, self-promoting famous-for-Philadelphia news anchor, bilingual emailer of bikini photos of herself to married male news anchor "friends", teary interviewer of Dr. Phil and alleged assailant of a New York police officer last December. And we're kind of happy for her! Sure, assault on a police officer is by default considered to be "aggravated," and Alycia's slapping of this particular cop apparently resulted in "lacerations," which sounds pretty aggravated on its own! But the thing is, now that she has entered the ranks of People Who Are Famous Exclusively For Getting Arrested and in the process, COINER OF OUR FAVE PHRASE "You fucking dykes," we didn't want Alycia to have to serve jail time — not yet! Let her go, let her hang out with Howard Stern, pose for Playboy, find her way back to TV, give her the leniency she so clearly doesn't is all she needs to find within herself the audacity to do something truly idiotic and offensive once more.


Obviously, the New York City Region of the Gay Officers Action League does not agree with me. The decision not to prosecute Lane on the original charges sends a "disturbing message" to the public, they say. Oh, and perhaps it does! That the judicial system is capable of being twisted and corrupted by the feminine wiles of one of those hot insane women, perhaps? But you know, it's capable of much worse. In the meantime, we have a beloved term of endearment, and a temporarily vindicated bona fide train wreck on the loose. PAGEVIEWS! I eagerly await her apology to us dykes on Howard Stern.


Gay NY Police Officers' Group Criticizes Case Against TV Anchor [Newsday]
Alycia Lane: 'I'm So Glad This Is Over'
TheVery Public Self-Destruction Of Alycia Lane [Philadelphia Magazine]

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She ain't Jezzie material, but I do love the phrase. Such as. For the children, you fucking dykes!