As you may know, Twitter's IPO debuted yesterday. The company's stock market capitalization is about $25 billion, and this report claims each user is worth $110. Right here is a program that answers the question "How much does Twitter owe me?" Fun! (FYI the company owes you nothing. You will never see that money.)

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DISCUSSION

You guys, a friend of mine became a millionaire yesterday, with this IPO! She's awesome and amazing, and works very hard.

BUT.

I'm so fucking envious I could puke. Why can't I just be happy for her?

I'm the worst.